Morning Sadness & Getting Through the Day

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by Debs, Aug 28, 2018.

  1. Debs

    Debs Member

    For me, the way initially feel when I wake up sets the tone for the day. I wake up feeling sad. I know I've been through a painful loss but I also know that my love would not want me to frame each day around my sadness that he is no longer here. I also realize that I have a lot of good people and things in my life to be thankful for. Does anybody have suggestions about how to reset my brain and heart in the morning do I can focus on thankfulneess instead of what I have lost. Im stuck.
    Thanks,
    Debs
     
  2. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Perhaps you can pray or (if you're not religious) read some daily affirmation.
     
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  3. Michele Wood

    Michele Wood Well-Known Member

    I try to realize that these grief moments I have should not set the mood for the day. You know they can come at any time. I imagine my grief moments as a wave that washes over me, then leaves just as the tides come and go.
     
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  4. Debs

    Debs Member

    It does come in waves, and when it's not expected I get off balance and find I need to wallow in it for a while. It could be a song or anything that was meaninful to us. Sometimes i just want to butst into tears or run out of the room. These last few days have been a kittle better but then i have a setback.
     
  5. Deb215

    Deb215 New Member

    Sometimes the grief washes over you and it is so unexpected. Sometimes I let the tears flow for a while then I get go out and work in the yard or take a ride or go visit someone. It stinks but I just keep walking forward.
     
  6. Michele Wood

    Michele Wood Well-Known Member

    I had that wave thus past weekend. I was off from work Friday-Monday. Since Robert died in a hospital, the Catholic hospital held a memorial mass for everyone who died in July. That just set the scene for the entire weekend. I downloaded Native American music and bawled the entire weekend. I got out a lot of grief which helped me talj to my new students about his death. I am having memory, focus and concentration issues, not to mention food and sleep issues. I told the students I was different than my normal self but that I would get better. I cannot even remember their names.
     
  7. Deb215

    Deb215 New Member

    My husband died March 17, 2018, it has been like nothing I have ever experienced. He died suddenly from a brain aneurysm. We had been married for 48 years, 11 months and 3days.We started dating when I was just 16 years old. He was the love of my life. I keep moving forward because I feel that is all I can do to honor him. Some days are really tuff and I wonder how I will get through them. I have faith that God will get me through and there is a reason I am still here and that is what keeps me going each day. I have those days that it seems like emotionaly I can not think straight, and feel so exhausted that I just don't want to do anything. I tend to forget things, that I should not have forgotten. I have tried to get my hands on books and articles about grief and mourning and everything I am experiencing is what others have experienced at some degree. Everyone griefs differently but some symptoms are the same.
     
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  8. Michele Wood

    Michele Wood Well-Known Member

    That is a very heavy load, since this your first husband/partner loss. Loss of spouse is cobsideted the heaviest stressor in peoples' lives. That is why you are having the emotional issues. It can also have physical symptoms such as body aches and headaches. Some people also get heart issues.

    Having gone through two partner losses, one 18 years ago and he 2nd 2 months ago, I can tell you the circumstances of his death affect your grief. Expected vs unexpected. How he died. Where you w ere when he died. The state of your marriage. My first partner, an alcoholic, killed himself and I discovered him in the last thoes of death. This was his 2nd suicide attempt in a week. All the doctors said he would die. They were right, unfortunately.

    The second was far more traumatic. He suffered a fatal cardiac arrest in front of me. Unexpected and it happened quickly. Unable to save him. His death isgoibg to take years. Still cannot believe he is gone.

    I will pray for you and have good thoughts. Take care of yourself. Know that grief is very tough but you will make it out at the other end.
     
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  9. Debs

    Debs Member

    It's so crazy how it effects our simple day to day activities. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind.
     
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  10. Donna Pioli

    Donna Pioli Member

    I have a journal that I write,talk, to my husband in
     
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  11. Wolfgirl

    Wolfgirl Member

    Your right qnything can trigger. I haven’t learned yet how to slow that down
     
  12. Wolfgirl

    Wolfgirl Member

    I feel exactly the same for the past year i have been a zombie just doing cause i have to.
     
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  13. zane

    zane Member

    Writing definately helps me because im better at expressing with writing than with words. Sometimes i do wake up feeling stuck in bed just not wanting to deal with people at all.
     
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