Mom unexpectedly passed 2 months ago and I found her

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Loste, May 8, 2018.

  1. Loste

    Loste New Member

    I am new to this site and I am looking desperately for support. Almost 2 months ago, my mother passed away in a tragic fall. I found her. I am an only child. I am having a really hard time. I returned to work because I had to and I put on a smile and when asked how I am, the answer is always good. No one wants to hear what I am truly feeling. I need help and advice from anyone that is willing to give it. I think I am still in shock. And the image is ingrained in my head. Please help me...
  2. Laura93

    Laura93 Member

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :( unfortunately there are no words that would really comfort you in this situation. I totally understand your struggle with being around people who expect you to act like always before. I feel the same way. The best for me was a visit to a therapist and talking to one of my friends - pastor. This might not help you but you can try. Again unfortunately grief will not go away. There is only one way and it's to live trough it.
    It's been 2 months since my husband died in his sleep. I am 25 years old and have a 10 months old baby. I still don't have any interest in life whatsoever. I smile, take care of my baby, meet some friends, parents .. And when my baby sleeps, it's my time to moan, cry out and remember.
    I hope you will find something that would help you.
  3. Loste

    Loste New Member

    Laura93, thank you for your reply. I am sorry to hear about your husband. I can’t imagine what you are going through. Although a different kind of loss, stilll an unimaginable situation.
    In regards to a therapist, I am trying to find one that accepts my insurance. It’s been crazy because any of the ones that have been recommended don’t accept it. It’s been a difficult week. And this weekend it’s going to be even worse. Sunday being Mother’s Day and then Monday her birthday. And I want to be open and happy for my kids Sunday because I don’t want to bring them down. But it feels like my heart is being ripped out this weekend. I don’t know what else to do.
  4. Laura93

    Laura93 Member

    OH, me too. This will be my first Mother's day as a mom.. And if baby is so small, usually husbands prepare something and says that it's from both of them.
    I also subscribed for daily emails on grief. Today is my 10th day since I get these emails and I find them helpful. At least now I understand that grief is not going away.. Probably I will live with it for the rest of my life but I also know that pain will not be so intense and emotions will change.
    griefic likes this.
  5. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Loste, I'm so sorry for your loss and for the trauma that remains. I often say that experiencing a loss, especially like the one you described, can create a PTS or post traumatic stress. Post traumatic stress refers to the sights and sounds surrounding a tragic event, and the difficulty it can leave for a griever to escape those thoughts in their head. As for the shock, I think that's also very much to be expected as you simply had no time at all to prepare for this loss. The process of grief is different for everyone and those who lose a loved one suddenly will find they are on a very different time line than those who have had at least a little time to prepare. There is no easy fix, and while I also don't believe that time heals all wounds, I think if we can be patient with ourselves and the grieving process we may find that some reprieve and healing does find its way. Getting support helps and I'm glad you have reached out to us here. Please take care~
  6. xHeavYMetaLx

    xHeavYMetaLx Member

    I'm so sorry for you loss and i feel you about lying about being okay.