Missing my Momma

I lost my mom, who was my best friend, a year ago on August 22nd. We (my sister and I) knew it was coming. We all have a rare blood disease, and Momma had gotten to the point where her organs were shutting down, and we had to say our goodbyes. I was her caretaker from the time that she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013, until her death in 2017. I did everything for her. It's been over a year, and some days I'm okay. And then there are the days when the grief hits me and I feel just like it the day she died. Today is one of those days. I can barely function, tears are constantly streaming down my face, and I miss her so bad that I'm not sure that I'll survive it.
What makes it even worse is that I dream such vivid dreams where she is there. It makes me think that it was all a bad dream and that she isn't really gone. That I can pick up the phone and call her, and hear her say "Hi, honey. How's my honey?" But I know that I can't. I look at her memorial flyer, and I realize that it isn't a dream. I really am an orphan. I'll never get to hug her again. I'll never get to take her to the grocery store. I'll never get shushed when her favorite song comes on the radio again. I'm trying so hard to be brave, and to cope. But I am falling apart. I am hiding it from my daughter and husband. I know they understand, but yet...they don't. All I want is my mommy. She taught me everything, except how to live without her. And she lived for 30 years without me in her life, but I've never lived without her in mine, until 8-22-17. I am broken-hearted.

 

Sorry to hear about your mother. I lost my mother suddenly in May. I sometimes still expect to see her walk in or tell me to wear a jacket when it's chilly. I know that will never happen again though. I think the best we hope is to somehow adapt to it. If you are really having trouble, perhaps seeing a therapist would help.

 

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom and best friend on January 16, 2018. I feel the pain you describe. One minute I’ll be what I think is okay and the next minute I’ll be in tears. I view as my new normal.
My mom passed away suddenly and we enlisted Hospice for 10 days until she died. I just hurt so darn bad. The part about never seeing her again haunts me. I just want my mom. She loved me so much and she was my biggest supporter and Basketball buddy! Tears are stinging my eyes right now.

 

I lost my Mom on June 8th 2018. I miss her more than any words can say. She was my best friend. In 2015 she developed a chronic illness, then on September 8th 2018, worst day of my life, we found out she had cancer. She was in hospice at home from Oct 2018 until the day she died. I took care of her through all of that too.

I miss her hugs, her sense of humor, everything about her. She even made me laugh when she had cancer, she handled cancer like a true hero. I miss going to movies with her, shopping, watching baseball. Everything.

I'm so alone, my brothers are not supportive of me at all. They never were. Don't know how I can live without her. I'm getting professional help but it's still so incredibly hard. Even though I thought I was better prepared for her death because I took care of her and we spent so much time together, I wasn't at all.

 

I feel so heart broken for you because it's the same with me.

 

I feel so heart broken for you because it's the same with me.