Missing my boy

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by renae pugh, Aug 5, 2016.

  1. renae pugh

    renae pugh Member

    This is my first time here. My 19 year old son was killed 3-30-16 by a DD. I miss him so much. It is devastating.
     
  2. OK2CRY

    OK2CRY Member

    I'm so sorry about your son. Words are not enough to express the loss of a child. It's totally unnatural. I lost my daughter suddenly last July 12th 2015. It's been a roller coaster ride ever since. I just thought I was dealing with her being gone until her birthday and the anniversary of her death passed. I totally regressed. I now realize I need some type of counseling and group therapy. Hopefully, I will find some of that here with you. I am willing to listen if you want to talk.
     
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  3. renae pugh

    renae pugh Member

    I am so sorry for your loss also. It's very devastating. Only been 4 months for me and I can't even imagine tomorrow without him. I may have couple of good days and then really bad days. So sorry it took me so long to reply. I will listen. Hugs to you.
     
  4. OK2CRY

    OK2CRY Member

    I'm so glad you replied! Thank you for your condolences. I know what you mean about facing tomorrow without him. I will do something or go somewhere and wish I could call Jenny up and tell her since she's the only one that would "get it." It leaves such an empty hollow place. My half-brother, who was only 38, just passed away in May. My stepmom is having the hardest time yet I'm glad she and can comfort each other. He was her only child. How old was your son?
     
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  5. renae pugh

    renae pugh Member

    Hugs and prayers to your stepmom. I was in Walmart yesterday and a couple of young men were being silly. Reminded me of my son and his friends.Brent was 19. How old was your Jenny?
     
  6. OK2CRY

    OK2CRY Member

    I'm so sorry for being unobservant. You said 19 in your original post. My Jenny was 30. She died of an "accidental overdose" yet too many things say otherwise. Thankfully, suicide was ruled out but further "odd situations" were never investigated fully despite my pleas to law enforcement. She had quit doing drugs over a year and was in a good place. Unfortunately, she had a hard time cutting off association with the wrong people and knew a little too much for her own good. I begged her to keep it to herself but she was very emotional (like me) and when she got angry, she didn't know when to keep her mouth shut (like me). I think that's what led to her "accidental overdose." It kills me inside to not keep pursuing it but since she lived in a different state, I just couldn't make the police listen to me. Everything I provided them was circumstantial and I guess they see too many of these cases to bother with them much. I was diagnosed with a chronic illness a couple of months before she died and have been battling that as well. It wa so hard to do but because the stress was making me sicker, I chose to turn it over to God and that gets me through the tough times. I know he will have the final say. I don't know what I'd do without the hope of seeing her again one day. Thank God for that!
    What gets you through the hard times, if anything?
     
  7. OK2CRY

    OK2CRY Member

    That must've been so hard on you (being Wal-Mart). Just the other day, my youngest daughter was doing something with a video game and I said "OMG! You sound just like Jenny!" It was a beautiful feeling. Do you have other children?
     
  8. jackie

    jackie New Member

    I LOST MY SON DARREN OM MAY 30 THIS YEAR MY HEART BRAKES ALL THE TIME EVEN THOUGH HE HAD MOVED COUPLE OF HOURS FROM US AND I DIDNT SEE HI, DAILI HE WAS OUR EVERYTHING WE WERE SO CLOSE HE WAS SO MUCH LIKE ME I HAVE ALOT OF FAITH IN GOD SO THTA DOES HELP BUT I MISS TSLKING TO HIM I MISS SEEING A TEX FROM HIM HE WAS MY FIRST BORN I USE TO BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME NOW I TRY TO SMILE IM BACK AT WORK PUSHING FOWARD EVERYDAY CAUSE I KNOW THATS WHAT HE WANTS HIS MOM TO DO AGHHH GHLAD THERE A SUPPORT GROUP HERE
     
  9. OK2CRY

    OK2CRY Member

    I'm so sorry, Jackie. Losing a child is the worst thing in the world. I never thought I'd be one of those people. I also used to be happy a lot, even regarded as a funny and silly person but I've lost my joy. I know Jenny would want me to keep pushing forward as well but it's not easy. It's not normal for our children to go first. Just know that it's ok to take all the time you need to grieve and it's okay to cry as much as you need to. Don't let anyone tell you different. I am here to talk to as much as you'd like.
     
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  10. renae pugh

    renae pugh Member

    I understand your pain Jackie. I also Brent wouldn't want me to be sad all the time. He was always doing his best to make anyone laugh and help them have a better day. I was only off work a week and a half. Not long enough. I cry every day at least once a day. Grief is so heavy. I am very tired all of the time. I can't even think about tomorrow without him. Hugs and prayers to you.
     
  11. renae pugh

    renae pugh Member

    God and my family get me through. My husband of 27 years is always there for me. Even tho we grieve differently he always tells me I am not alone. He always has a shoulder to cry on.
     
  12. Angela martis

    Angela martis New Member

    Sorry for your loss I know your pain I lost my son few months shy of his third bday in a car accident
     
  13. jackie

    jackie New Member

    I'm so sorry it's been 3 half months for me my son was 24 it's so hard everyday ..he was my first born son only son and Eveyday can be so hard I have a lot of faith in God it's the only thing that really helps and I read books on grief work a lot to stay buzy but hits me everyday I can't believe this has happen God I miss him
     
  14. jackie

    jackie New Member

    I'm sorry I had not been on here I joined and I need this to read everyone helps a lot sometimes feel like your the only one in this word that has lost a child I'm gonna keep on this I know I need to have others who understand a mothers pain of a list of a child
     
  15. Angela martis

    Angela martis New Member

    Sorry for your loss honey and yes the pain never goes away it's been 12 years for me my son was 2 his life cut short I die more and more inside that he is gone they say u face a new reality without your child and I tell u I'm not the same me without my son I don't like it I just can't wait to see him again