My sister was murdered September 30, 2019. Because she was not actually found until after midnight.. The coroner made her death date October 1st. I know it may seem selfish.. But I HATE the fact that they don't give the 30th as her death date.. Her useless, pathetic, piece of shit "friends" did this to her.. Not only did they take my middle sister.. They took a mother from her daughters. They took a daughter from her parents.. They took a granddaughter from her grandparents.. Not to mention.. Our little sister now only has me to look up to.. Me.. The grief stricken, mother of 3, with depression, and anxiety coursing through my fucking veins.. My whole life Ive always worried about who was going to be taken from me next.. 5 years old- our dog got hit by a car.. Although it made me sad.. I didnt really understand what it meant.. What I did know was: -1st time I ever saw my mom and dad cry. -Our dog would no longer come when my sister and I called for him. -Things seemed sad for a while.. A long while.. 10 years old- My Nana passed away on the day of my birthday party.. The day before my real birthday that year. -I loved my Nana.. But I still didn't grasp the concept. 12 years old- My Grandpa Brownie passed away.. -This time it felt different. My dad was heartbroken once again. But this time.. I felt his pain.. 12 years old (4 months after my grandpa)- Grandma Brown passes away.. -THIS TIME.. The pain. The agony. The realness of death hit me like a ton of bricks.. My favorite person in the whole wide world.. Was gone.. She didn't even know who I was when my sister and I said our last goodbyes. No one could comfort my pain.. I did not know what to do.. I did not know what to say.. Things were fucking painful. The tears. The heartache. The emptiness. The feeling of being so lost I never wanted to leave my room.. 18 years old- My friend Drew was killed. -I never knew kids could die.. Reality.. Became my enemy! Then, Kayla.. Her death felt very different.. They found her in a lake.. No foul play suspected.. (However, I do believe it was more than that!) Our Uncle Butch.. Our beautiful angel, Aunt Chris.. 2015- Another hard hit loss- Our Aunt Cindy Stage 4 brain cancer. None of us even knew about it.. Less than 3 days in the hospital.. She was gone.. 2016- My sweet angel.. Our 16 year old cousin Sarah.. She had Rett Syndrome.. Years.. Go by.. I did experience another loss.. But it was my boyfriend's grandpa. Still.. No other loss had affected me and stayed with me like Grandma Brown.. That was until last September.. That was a night I relive CONSTANTLY.. A night that will haunt me for the rest of my life.. My sister was murdered.. Placed in her shower early that morning.. And left there until around 12 a.m. .. The pain of losing her.. I dont think there could be a deeper.. Hurt than losing her.. Hopefully, I never have to go through a worse one than this.