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Major anxiety about moving into the New Year

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Heartbroken Honey Bunny, Dec 29, 2019.

  1. Heartbroken Honey Bunny

    Heartbroken Honey Bunny Well-Known Member

    I don’t know if anyone else is experiencing this but I have major anxiety about the turning of the calendar to the next year. It’s like time is moving on with me in it and leaving my love behind who died in September. I’m sad enough as it it and the new year coming is inevitable but it just highlights that he’s not here and time is marching forward.
     
    AJones and patricia k like this.
  2. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    I am experiencing the same feelings as you regarding major anxiety about the new year. I think it is a normal reaction when you lose a loved one. It does highlight the fact that your loved one is no longer here and time is marching forward. The holidays are very difficult times for us when it seems everyone else is celebrating but we have no choice but to go on. The sadness and grief is sometimes unbearable to take.
     
    patricia k likes this.
  3. Heartbroken Honey Bunny

    Heartbroken Honey Bunny Well-Known Member

    The grief and pain shake you to the core. Not once, not twice, but every single day (often, multiple times per day). I don’t wish this on anyone. To lose such a big piece of yourself is earth shattering. I didn’t have enough time with my love. He and I were childhood sweethearts and reunited after 36 years. He saved me from a terrible marriage. I looked forward to a future together. The future we didn’t have when we were kids. I had 5 wonderful years but I was r ready for it to end. I miss him so much
     
    patricia k likes this.
  4. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    Yes, the grief and pain does shake you to the core. That is a beautiful story how you were childhood sweethearts and reunited after 36 years. You should cherish that you were able to get back together but, of course, it ended too quickly. It is very hard to imagine a future without your loved one. I wish there was an easy answer on dealing with all the grief but there isn't. All we can do is remember the good times and take one day at a time.
     
    patricia k likes this.
  5. Heartbroken Honey Bunny

    Heartbroken Honey Bunny Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I do cherish all the good memories but then the sadness barges in and I’m left feeling alone and empty. The heartache is too hard to bear at times.
     
    patricia k likes this.
  6. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    I agree. There are days that I feel stronger but suddenly the sadness and loneliness creeps in and the tears start flowing. Today I am concentrating on getting through the New Year's celebration alone and sad. I purposely will not watch any New Year's eve celebration programs on television which would be very difficult. I am trying to keep myself busy today so that I can fall asleep before midnight. Hang in there ... we will get stronger.
     
    patricia k likes this.
  7. Heartbroken Honey Bunny

    Heartbroken Honey Bunny Well-Known Member

    Thank you. You, too. I am having such difficulty difficulty with the ‘year in review’ retrospectives in the media. I don’t want to be reminded of the worst year of my life when the love of my life was taken from me. The sooner this night is over, the better. Thank you for understanding.
     
  8. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    So glad that the night is over with. Wishing you well.
     
  9. Heartbroken Honey Bunny

    Heartbroken Honey Bunny Well-Known Member

    You and me both! Thank you. Same to you.
     
    cg123 likes this.
  10. ainie

    ainie Well-Known Member

    New Year's Eve and New Year's Day have been the worst. Like others on this post I hate the idea of a year without my sweetie being in it. Haven't slept at all the past two nights. Being so tired makes coping difficult. And the bank calls today, of all days, wanting to set up a meeting about estate paperwork. I put them off until next week. Hope I get my feet back on the bottom by then...I compare grief to being awash in a rough ocean...mostly getting pulled this way and that, and going under when a big wave comes. Did have a day or two where I could touch bottom so know I will get there again.
     
  11. Heartbroken Honey Bunny

    Heartbroken Honey Bunny Well-Known Member

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes- just when you think you have some footing a bigger wave comes along. I am so glad the holidays are over and if I hear happy new year one more time...
     
  12. patricia k

    patricia k Member

    I agree, just about the time I think "I'm okay".....I find out that I'm NOT okay. I cry for what seems like no reason at all.
     
  13. Heartbroken Honey Bunny

    Heartbroken Honey Bunny Well-Known Member

    I’m so
    I’m sorry for your loss. I’m definitely NOT ok either.
     
    patricia k likes this.
  14. cg123

    cg123 Well-Known Member

    I don't think any of us will truly be "ok". All we can do is take one day at a time and hopefully the pain will lessen a bit as time goes on. Some days I feel stronger but other times just cry for no special reason. Grieving for a loved one is very hard but hoping we will all get stronger as we go through this.
     
  15. Jennalee_007

    Jennalee_007 New Member

    I lost my mom in October and my partner tragically and unexpectedly in December of this year. My world came crashing down. At 26, I became a motherless widow. Going into a new year brings up a lot of darkness and pain. People have told me, “well no year will be worse for you than 2019. Here’s to 2020”. But what they don’t realize is—what is worse than entering into a new year without the two people who meant the most to me in this world? That already makes for a terrible year.

    Hope it gets better for everyone on here. This sucks.

    As you can probably tell I’m not that OK either. I hope it gets better for you!
     
    patricia k likes this.
  16. patricia k

    patricia k Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss.....and yes.....this DOES suck! .... There are no words to express the pain you must be feeling ... So sorry.
     
    Jennalee_007 likes this.
  17. Heartbroken Honey Bunny

    Heartbroken Honey Bunny Well-Known Member

    I’m so very sorry for your losses. It sucks so bad and there’s nothing anyone can say to make it better. Well meaning people can make it worse with their comments. Please know that those of us who have also had losses do understand and while we’re a bunch of, not OK people who get what it’s like, we’ll never tell you to ‘be glad you had good times, now stop crying.’
    Sending you hugs.
     

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  18. AJones

    AJones New Member

    I lost my Dad in July, and the new year gave me some pretty crippling anxiety as well. I’m still reeling from... He wasn’t just my Dad, he was my best friend, my constant support and the only person who really understood me. I’m only 25, is this what the rest of my life is gonna be?
     
  19. Heartbroken Honey Bunny

    Heartbroken Honey Bunny Well-Known Member

    I am so very sorry for your loss. It’s so unfair and painful. You just want your dad back. Watching people be so happy ushering in a new year was so incredibly hard. Our grief will always be here. Loss is loss and that will never go away. Time just makes it different. Sending you hugs!
     
    patricia k likes this.
  20. Ray G.

    Ray G. Well-Known Member

    I know I have no idea, like
    not knowin when 2019 came
    to be that 1pm on March 16th
    I would lose my Sofia a Dainty
    dearness becuz her sisters
    had to get back to work and
    did not want to make more
    trips.
    We had a comittall service w
    vows just that had we married
    She 'd lose her pension. Sadly
    her sisters could care less and
    Sofia's brother a keeper of
    public records in Tallahassee
    Fl. Called the hospital and told
    them. Donovan a gay nurse
    in ICU reamed me verbally
    for being dishonest with the
    hospital..So to the brother of
    my departed wife.
    Alex Nicolas I can only hope
    your life is full of loneliness
    for what you have done.
    You knowingly cheated your
    sister Sofia Sheets out of a
    good chance to get better.
    Yup that is what a new
    year gave me.