In the grief share website they had a paper to write down my top worries for the week. I wrote: going to my mother and brothers to get their personal belongings; picking up my Mom's ashes; dealing with the bank and social security. I asked God for so much help to do these things and somehow yesterday it happened. He literally carried me. I did feel my emotions when I got home after walking through it all. I felt my whole entire childhood come back to me after looking at photos of me and my Dad, Mom and brother Carl. Great memories came through in the photos and I was filled with love for these people that are now with God. My dad passed away a long time ago now 22 years, it is hard to believe. There were a lot of photos of him as a child and in his teens. I see myself in all of them. They are all a part of me especially my Mom. It has only been 2 weeks and 5 days since she turned into her spiritual body to be with God. She was a really really good Mom to me over the years and she lived to be 82. I know that the human body doesn't live forever but the spiritual body does. I have read that the spiritual body is in its 30's and is completely free from all pain, worry, fear etc. We all have/had alcoholism which is so treacherous with our emotions that it makes me so happy to know they don't experience this turmoil anymore. I am sober 19 years, but it is hard for me as I struggle still with my emotions and memories of good and not so good. We all loved each other this I know, and we told each other also. My Mom gave me a card a month ago that said her life shines brighter because I am in it. I was helping her after my brother passed 4 months ago and now, I recall the things I said to help her as she was grieving. I am having difficulty today after revisiting her apartment yesterday and boxing things. I have to go back again today to finish up and I am scared again. I ask God for help again. My appetite is going again so I have to try and eat and then walk through this part of the process some more. I now have the ashes for all of them in my car. I know it is just ashes but sometimes it freaks me out and then some days I want to put the ashes like next to me like they are all with me. I am pretty sure I should think spiritually about this rather than put too much meaning on ashes. The funeral home has a boat that takes you out to scatter the ashes in the ocean and I might do that. I can say that whatever you worry about write it down or type it here and then ask God for help to walk through it. It helped me. Then look back and see how He carried you through. xoxo Hope for healing ~Heather
Beautiful. Not just your mother, but everyone's life shines brighter because you are in the world. Jesus shines through.
Oh and I made it through again today. I found the wedding photos of Mom and Dad. I don't think I ever saw them or if I did it has to be 40 years ago. What a treasure and the first person I wanted to share it with was my Mom to tell her what a beautiful bride she was. I have a vision of her spiritual body now. Again thank you! I appreciate your posts and faith shining through also. ~ Heather
This is very good to hear. I am so glad that you can treasure pictures of the people you love. Continue on Heather. You are a shining star. Chris
