Lost the love of my life on July 28th 2018. I don't know how to cope with this loss.

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Julie Brown, Aug 14, 2018.

  1. Rednecks Wife

    Rednecks Wife Member

    I meant to tell you that I had started listing to native music since Tony passed. I find it soothing. I thought to myself..why hadn’t I found this while he still lived. We always have music going..even at bed time. I would look for sleep music but never seen the native until after he left.
     
  2. Michele Wood

    Michele Wood Well-Known Member

    Robert was my soulmate, too. Having experienced that love, I want to experience a love again even if it isn't a soulmate. Like my first husband. I am 58 and I am probably going t o live a long time based on my genetics. I do not want to be alone for 30 years. The man across from me has been a widow for 26 years; he is 91. He is lonely.

    However, everyone is d ifferent. My mom died of AZ when dad was 73 and she was 64. He lived another 16 years. I wish he had remarried. He w o u ld have had a ball. He was healthy until he was 87.
     
  3. Rednecks Wife

    Rednecks Wife Member

    Your right. Everyone is different. I think it’s great that you want to love again. I’m not going to look for love because I had the best there is. If I’m lonely which I am..but lonely for my Tony..and all our fur babies. They were my family. It will only be friendship from here on till the end of my life. I don’t expect to have a long life because I have COPD and it’s a killer. And i’m Ok with that. Life to me now is just another crappy day. Do I hope things change! Yes I do. I just don’t feel any purpose in the world right now. I hate my life. I miss my world and would do anything to get it back.
     
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  5. I lost my husband suddenly of 15 years. I lost my best friend. I am lost. He died 3 weeks ago this morning. I spoke with a grief counselor today on the phone. She found a bereavement group for me to go to. I’m not coping well at all. I wish I had something encouraging to tell you but I am very sorry for your loss.
    Respectfully,
    Elizabeth
     
  6. Julie Brown

    Julie Brown Member

    Elizabeth,
    I am sorry for your loss. It is something I wish nobody had to go through. Not only did I lose my husband, on Oct. 31st I lost my brother in law (my sisters husband) and my husband's best friend (who died basically the same way as my husband. Drowned) in November. It was a terrible 2018 I can only pray 2019 will be better.
    May I ask what happened with your husband?

     
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  8. Julie,
    I am so sorry for your many losses. I cannot imagine.

    Jay was beaten terribly on his 21st birthday and sustained serious head injuries. He recovered quite well. He’s been off and on with seizures because of the head injuries.

    3 weeks ago today, he was boiling the kettle and died suddenly from a seizure that stopped his heart. He was 47 and in good health all things considered.
     
  9. He died alone. I hate that I wasn’t there to get him help but it might not have mattered.
     
  10. Julie Brown

    Julie Brown Member

    I wasnt there for Todd either. I dont know if I would have been if that would have made a difference either. We can't go back and wonder what if? or we will drive ourselves crazy. We have to just remember that they are no longer in pain or hurting. It doesnt help us because of how much we miss them, and I wont lie to you, the pain of their loss does not go away. Every day I wish i could see him, talk to him, hold him one more time! I still talk to him every day but its not the same. I am here if you want to chat I wish I could give you a hug. I know what you're going through and I am sorry.
     
  11. Rednecks Wife

    Rednecks Wife Member

    Elizabeth:
    I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you and others that lost their loved one suddenly are going through. All I know is we all are suffering. I lost my world July 25th and I’m still having a difficult time. I joined another grief share and will start a one on one counsel on the 29th through hospice. I need help because I can’t control my thoughts. I think of the wrong things. Like how badly I want my world back. How I miss him. Instead of thinking of how blessed I was to have him for 19yrs. To think of the good times of ours life together. It’s so hard to move on in life. I don’t feel like doing anything and I know that’s not healthy. I force myself out sometimes and sometimes that doesn’t work either. But grief share is definitely something that does help. Being with folks that have a common factor. We all grieve differently. But yet the same in many ways. Having faith and believing in Jesus is also helpful. I know he has helped me because he has put me through some very touch challenges that I know I would have not gotten through without Jesus help. God bless all of us who are grieving. Y’all are in my prayers.