I lost my older and only sibling in October 2015. I have severe guilt because I knew she had heart problems and was sick and listening to my mother we waited 3 days--even when she was no longer responding to us--to call 911. My mom just thought she needed to sleep but I think she was in denial and just wanted to hope for the best. Even when I knew she needed a hospital we decided to take her in the morning and she didn't make it through the night. I can't stop thinking about her and how she died. She would be here now if I had taken initiative. Even worse, my mom had complications from diabetes just 10 months later, also got appendicitis, developed dementia and--though I fought for her like hell--she passed away last week after and about 8 months of trying everything I could think of. I think she was depressed. These two were my ENTIRE life. I lived with mom and lived across the hall from my sister. Saw them both daily, now they are both gone. I lost my job, have no relationship and no close friends. I am miserable, bored, lonely and sad every waking minute. I feel like just ending it. I feel hopeless and lost. I don't even know where to begin in putting my life together. I have never had a job I liked and getting another menial job with nothing else to give me happiness in my life is scary. At least when I had bad jobs I had them to look forward to on weekends, holidays, days off. Now there is NOTHING to look forward too and no one to do anything with. I'm so desperate for a friend I feel pathetic. My sister and I did everything together. I'm just so angry I didn't save her. I'm so sorry I let her down.