Lost my wife

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by ArthurAllen, Aug 22, 2020.

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  1. ArthurAllen

    ArthurAllen Active Member

    Your very strong and Im sorry for your loss. Everyone is different when it comes to showing emotions. I try not to tear up when I talk to family and friends on the phone. I dont cry as much as I did at first. Just when Im alone. Before this I was definitely not an emotional person. I dont show emotions in general, more the reserved quiet kind of guy. I think you are right about crying and becoming a healthier self. Sometimes when a family member starts telling me a story about my wife I tear up though. I talk to her during the day, and I feel she can hear me. Maybe Im crazy, before this I would have thought someone was losing it if they spoke to a deceased loved one. But I speak to her and it helps. I believe she's with her mom, who she was very close to. I imagine them finally being together again and it helps. Her 'shrine' is her urn and some pictures right now. Her jewelry is nearby, she never took it off. Thanks for listening.
     
    1163rieh likes this.
  2. 1163rieh

    1163rieh New Member

    I'm new to this blog, hope to share and heal. It's been 2-1/2 months since my wife passed from stage 4 cancer, we were married 33 years. I still weep (more then crying), I'm finding it easier to talk to her openly when I move around our house. I cared for her at home the 16 months she battled this disease, she died at home with my kids and myself here during covid. I'm not sure if the pain is easing up, or if I'm getting used to it? I'm grateful for our time, but miss her dearly. I read a daily griefshare blog, it allows me to connect with my feelings and acknowledge our loss of her. The biggest struggle I have now is everyone is back to their normal lives, but nothing is normal here. Accepting we shared/built this all together makes me smile sometimes. Give yourself a lot of latitude, healing is slow and it comes in waves.
     
  3. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    I agree, I don't plan on getting rid of anything. (unless she tells me too). :)
     
  4. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    I lost my father when I was 20, my sister that was my best friend growing up when I was 46, she was 47 and a nephew that was 29. It hurt very much all 3 of them but, it's much more painful and difficult to lose your wife of 35 years. She had cancer and knew she didn't have much time left. she told me a lot of things that I should do when she was gone. She said I would have a hard time after she was gone. But, I didn't know it would be this heartbreaking. I miss her so much,
     
  5. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    I understand completely now why people will jump off a cliff when their soul mate dies
     
  6. 1163rieh

    1163rieh New Member

    But your soulmate wouldn't want this, we'll be together forever soon enough. Please know your loved and cared for by many.
     
    Talos25 likes this.
  7. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    We have 3 grown children together, I would never do that to them
     
  8. Peter L

    Peter L Member

    My darling Gill died three months ago and I am unconsolable - totally devastated. I remember, whilst she was losing her battle with her cancer, wishing with all my heart that I could change places with her but now that I know what hell it is grieving for her I could never wish the same for her. I hope with all my heart that all our loved ones have found a haven of peace and contentment.