Your very strong and Im sorry for your loss. Everyone is different when it comes to showing emotions. I try not to tear up when I talk to family and friends on the phone. I dont cry as much as I did at first. Just when Im alone. Before this I was definitely not an emotional person. I dont show emotions in general, more the reserved quiet kind of guy. I think you are right about crying and becoming a healthier self. Sometimes when a family member starts telling me a story about my wife I tear up though. I talk to her during the day, and I feel she can hear me. Maybe Im crazy, before this I would have thought someone was losing it if they spoke to a deceased loved one. But I speak to her and it helps. I believe she's with her mom, who she was very close to. I imagine them finally being together again and it helps. Her 'shrine' is her urn and some pictures right now. Her jewelry is nearby, she never took it off. Thanks for listening.