Lost my one and only

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by JMD, Aug 25, 2020.

  1. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    Keep feeling. Its the way thru......
     
    Kata likes this.
  2. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    So sorry. I've had many weekends like that and also just weeks where the bad days outnumbered the good 6 to 1. I don't have advice for you, sorry but I think I should just stop giving advice. Everyone is different and on their own journey. I can tell you your grief will get easier to handle with the passing of more time tho. You're not going to be sad and lonely forever. It just feels that way sometimes. The good days will come more often and stick around longer too. Keep going. You're doing great! I wish a good day for you today. Peace.
     
    glego, Kata and Cyanotype like this.
  3. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    I lost my wife of 34 years 7 weeks ago to cancer. She was my life. I thought after maybe 4 weeks it would get easier but, it has only gotten harder to handle. i would cry every day for a while but, not now it's like 4 or 5 times a day. I don't know what to do now. I try to do what she would want me to do. She was such an organised and good person. I miss her so much.
     
  4. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    I haven't found or heard an easy way to go through this yet, nothing works for me
     
  5. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    Thinking of the good times we had together just makes me cry again. It's our own mental thinking that will keep us alive. I'm stuck in our house of 16 years that's more like an asian temple. My Kelley loved the asian culture and the house and yard is all buddha stuff. I love it! It's very beautiful but, it just reminds me of her and I would be heart broken if I moved anything
     
  6. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    I hope it's not this hard on anyone else
     
  7. JMD

    JMD Well-Known Member

    Your loss is still very fresh. Frequent tears are normal, and letting yourself feel your feelings will help you heal. It will not be easy and the waves will come and go. Take your time with your wife’s belongings. Decide what you will do with her things as you can. It may be that the yard becomes a place of healing for you. My husband has been gone for 10 weeks today. I miss him terribly and still cry a lot. I haven’t moved a thing. Right now
     
  8. JMD

    JMD Well-Known Member

    it’s survival day to day. Don’t push yourself too hard. Peace.
     
  9. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

     
  10. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    This process is not easy. Keep crying and feeling your feelings. Find good support.
     
  11. glego

    glego Well-Known Member

    Your loss is so recent, so sorry you're going through this. I'm almost 11 months in, married close to 30 years, together for 37. All I can say is I'm still grieving, it does change and get better. However, some days you'll feel like you're in week one, it's a process. Give yourself time, and drop the expectation of any timeline. I don't think anyone ever gets over a loss, we just learn acceptance in time.

    Do what you need to do to get through the day. Early on I made sure to get out for a walk, I'd schedule errands sprinkled through the week to get out for more time. Try to see friends or family for lunch or dinner, invite someone over just to be with you.

    Think of what you'd want her to do if she were here and you weren't, I know I'd want my husband to have friends, enjoy being alive, find love again if that's what he wanted.
     
    Barry likes this.
  12. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

     
  13. Cyanotype

    Cyanotype Well-Known Member

    You said it perfectly