Lost my mother and brother in 218

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by sljnoles, May 10, 2020.

  1. sljnoles

    sljnoles New Member

    In March 2018, I suddenly lost my mother to a heart attack. I was her caregiver at the time, and the time I got to spend with her during that time was a great gift...her sweet spirit made my home a pleasant place to be and it was a privilege to be in a wfh job situation where I could give her the care she needed. Her sudden loss cut me to the core. Then my brother found out he had pancreatic cancer 3 months later, and he died a couple of months after that. Another sweet soul who was beloved by his community, family, and colleagues. It is difficult to sit here and write this on Mother’s Day, but I needed an outlet for all the emotions I am feeling. I don’t know how to get past all of this loss...it’s just so hard.
     
  2. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Sljnoles,

    So sorry for the loss of your mother, and then your brother as well. Both losses are heavy.

    You wrote this post on Mother's Day, and to each of us that day is special. So many things come to mind when we think of the person who brought us into this world. She protected us, guided us, bandaged us, made us happy, but also taught us right from wrong even when it was so hard for her to do. Your mother will always hold a special in your heart. The passage of time will only lessen the pain, not take away the loss. She will always be with you forever in your heart, mind, and soul.

    Your brother, what can you say about a sibling. You loved him dearly. You hold so many memories you shared as you grew together over time. Those memories too will always be with you forever.

    How do you get past lost? You talk of them. You tell what was special to you about them. Share a memory of too without sharing guarded information.

    Before I lost mom to stomach flu, dad had passed due to lung cancer. He asked me to take care of mom, which I did. I took care of her for years until she had to be moved to hospice hospital, where she contracted stomach flu and passed. Before she passed we shared so many private talks. It was a special time.

    When I look back over life and look back, I have many memories to dwell upon. Those times are what help me move through time. I make sure to only think upon all the good and none of the bad. Life is challenging enough.

    I know mom will always be with me, as will dad, and all those who left me behind in life. I know they will always be with me, in my heart, my mind, and my soul. Those pictures, those videos, those mementos will be something I can look back upon for a lifetime. I can listen to her special music. My mother loved to sing and would sing to us so many times.

    Of course our heart-aches. As time marches on, the severity of the pain will lessen, but understand, those memories will be with you forever.

    Peace be with you.

    -david

    This is a melody for you today