Lost my mom and am completely lost

My mom passed away on 8/9, with pneumonia and sepsis. I still can't believe she's gone. She was my best friend, my rock, my everything. I'm an only child and in this moment I wish I had siblings, someone that could understand what I'm going through. I feel like there's a void in my chest, I can't sleep, I can't breathe. My mom lived in Brazil, and when she was hospitalized I flew there the day after, I was able to see her awake for 2 days, then she was intubated and never awoke. She was 66, I'm 38. I'm feeling so much pain and guilt. My strength has been my daughters

 

I can relate to how you are feeling Andreia. I lost my mother in 1998 while I was on vacation in Florida. I lived with her at the time. She was 79 and I was 46. She died in the middle of the night of, what they believed to be, a heart attack. Fortunately, God, in his grace and mercy, never allowed me to feel guilt that I wasn’t there. He’s in control of all circumstances. It took me 1 1/2 years to start to get over the grief and I know no one could understand why so long. I had 3 brothers and a sister. All of them married with families. They all got back to their normal lives but I was single. My mother was my best friend, mother, roommate and confidante. I had no one and, although I had lived with roommates, I never wanted to live alone. I went to a lot of grief counseling, both groups and single therapists. I highly recommend Grief Share. I started to heal 1 1/2 years later when I moved out of my mother’s house.
P S I never knew until my mother died that grief actually can cause physical pain.

 

my mom passed away on march 25 2024 to cancer ,we found out she had cancer and she died two days later i cry most of the time i feel its so hard to cope with it .I know your pain . i also lost my boyfriend to a car wreck in november same year its to much

 

Hi Timber09!
I’m very sorry for your losses.
You are right it is too much
As you can imagine I am going through the same feelings. Different tragedies but unbearable pain we feel is the same.
I just wanted to let you know that share your pain.
God bless you.

 

Hi Andrea, I am so sorry for your devastating loss. My mom was killed by a drunk and drugged driver a year and a half ago, and I still cry every morning and night, and times in between when I find myself wanting to share something with her, or when I look for her regular texts and calls and joy. It’s so hard, and the pain doesn’t leave, but you will find the breathing and overwhelming since of loss, pain, despair, paralysis, shock and dismay do lessen as the time slips away. It won’t pass but it will start to hit less obviously, less crippling in its intensity.

I just joined this group as I don’t really know how to move on, fill the spaces left silent and vacant, stop in expecting her calls or texts or smile to brighten everything.

It’s an unfillable void, which will be replaced with the love and experiences and lessons she imparted to you, but this will take time and there is no timeline. Hang in there, be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, it’s hard enough to live without her, but she is still with you in those quiet moments when you feel a moment of calm, that is her loving you still.

 

I completely feel you. I lost my Mom Sept 6th due to sepsis. It was unexpected for herself and my family. She had been having difficulty eating since March and then 6/29 I found her non neuroligically intact. Uti and infections. Got her going again and was post hospitalization and illness and brought her back to the hospital on 9/1 and lost her 9/6. I have 1 sibling and we have been grieving her loss since. It was unexpected, Mom was 67 and I was her care taker not to mention we were very close as well. A very strong relationship. I just feel a very deep.loss that I cant explain with words. My dream this week I awake remembering that she is really dead. I know I am working into acceptance and work weekly with my counselor but this loss has completely changed me and my life. I'm only 49 and going thru peripause at the same time. I cant seem to cry over my grief much either. I understand what you are going thru and feel your pain. I am sorry for your loss and pain along with everyone else

 

I am so sorry you lost your mother so unexpectedly. It’s unbearably painful. I’m in month 20 without her, and just today, I got good news and went to tell her, and the crashing feeling of a void hit so hard, it felled me. Thank you for sharing your pain, it’s just too much to bottle up. I will be holding you tightly on this perimenopause journey through grief and a total reworking of who we were, are and will be after all these intense and lingering changes and loss.

 

My mom and I were very close. She was always very independent, healthy, and the most loving and accepting person I have ever known. She was my best friend I miss her more than I ever thought possible. She passed away on 06/29/25. Even though she was 91 and had some health issues, they were being managed well and it was very unexpected. I had just spoke to her on the phone that morning around 9:30 am and she was watching TV and drinking her cappuccino (her go to every am)and she sounded great. She was looking forward to going to lunch with my cousins later that afternoon and she said she was finishing her breakfast and was going to get ready. Around 11:30 that same morning my cousins later called to ask about her because she was not answering her calls. I told her that wasn’t uncommon because she struggled with her hearing and she may be in the other room, etc. I lived 10 minutes from her so I offered to go over to her apartment to let her know they were trying to call her. When I entered her apartment, I found her in the kitchen slumped over her walker and her empty coffee cup was on the floor. She was still in her pajamas. That told me that it probably happened shortly after I had spoken to her or she would have been dressed for lunch. I am grateful that I was able to talk to her that morning and tell her I love her, but it is a strong image in my mind that still shakes me to the core. Without going into too much detail, since then my 2 remaining brothers (had 4, 2 passed in 1995, 2018) have become estranged from me, my step-daughter has become estranged from her mother (my wife) and has decided that she would rather cut us off from seeing our 2 year old twin grandsons for whom my wife has provided daycare for since they were born, than to try to work on repairing their relationship. The losses have been extremely overwhelming and we are trying to focus on what we can control.

 

I also lost my mom suddenly. I can't believe she's gone. I feel responsible. Why did I listen to the doctor? Why didn't I take her home and then to a different hospital, all these thoughts and even though can't go back and know if it would be different, can't stop thinking what if. The world without her feels so unreal. She was part of every day as if part of who I was is gone too. I miss her terribly.