Lost my mom after dementia

My mother, who had advanced dementia, died last Wednesday after a short illness that caused her to be hospitalized. I feel so conflicted between being relieved that she is at peace and free from the dementia and sad and angry that she was taken from us. I went back to work today (I'm a teacher) and while distracting, I found myself still tearing up when thinking about her.

 

So sorry for your lose, when I lost my grandma I lied down on my bed and crying for days. When I lose our mother figure of our life, I feel I lose the sense of safety completely. Sadly she’s the only source of safety in my life. I don’t know how you are going to coping this but just remember the love and the beautiful stories we experienced.

 

Hello Erin,
My condolences at the loss of your mother. Losing our mother is one of the hardest things to endure. She was our gateway into this world, and, if we're lucky, one of the few people in our lives that will ever love us unconditionally for who we are. My mother was my best friend. I was only 22 when she died at 46 after a three year long fight with cancer. Even though I had a strong support system at the time, nothing helped with the loss of her sweetness.

Dementia of course complicates the entire process. The anticipatory grief of the final loss, but also the very small daily losses add up quickly. Sort of like burning a candle at both ends, yes? Even 37 years after her loss, I still miss her every day. I do talk to her a lot, especially when I need feedback that only she could provide.

Be patient with yourself. Trust the process, as difficult as it is.

Peace be with you.

~ Michael

 

Thank you Michael,
It's hard to imagine a world without her. Especially around the holidays. Luckily i have the support of a large family but it's still a tremendous loss. I hope you are finding joy in other places. I'm looking to do that myself.
Peace,
Erin