I was married for 2 years to my queen. In February of this year my world came to a halt when my wife went into the hospital to have emergency open heart surgery and never regained consciousness.
I'm sorry to read your story. I lost the love of my life suddenly too on 11/2/19. Brain aneurysm on an otherwise beautiful Saturday morning. She never regained consciousness and was declared brain dead the next day. I'm still in shock sometimes. Sad, angry, crying, numb. I can't even remember the first month after. I haven't been happy one minute since. The absolute worst thing I've ever experienced.
I lost my husband in October 2019 and nothing is ever the same again. I just try to spend time with my kids and grandchildren and take one day at a time or u will go crazy in this isolation. Some days are rough and some days better but I haven’t had a wonderful day since. Miss him every day.
I lost my husband suddenly after 25 years of marriage. There is no way around a sudden death of a loved one, except to go through it. Recently, I thought that death leads to rebirth for our loved one and that is required of us in some ways. A lot of the first months are about going down memories, forgiving, getting angry, missing, desperation, recounting things that could have been better. Our relationships are never perfect, when they end, there is a call for us to clean the slate and make peace with everything. Sometimes this takes a long time, sometimes more quickly. Maybe never? I think love is essential in life and when we love deeply and intertwine our life with another, it becomes part of our bread and water, our identity, how we sustain ourselves. When a person dies, we are forced to remake this whole structure that is our life, that is our identity, that is...how we give and receive love and all that we require to feel whole and purposeful. Each person copes differently but I think every one goes a bit crazy and this crazy in normal. Escape drinking sleeping a lot or not sleeping enough, poor eating habits, acting out in so many ways, breaking relationships with others, saying awkward things, crying, not concentrating, whatever to get through the day. I think allowing ourselves to be sick and crazy, vulnerable and unpredictable is important. To have compassion for the great loss and realize that like a sickness, it will go through you and run its course and leave you weak for a while. Reaching out to people who you trust with your truth helps, without judgment. To just vent and share. Writing, doing something creative, focusing on very simple every day ordinary actions, like cleaning, walking, cooking, organizing things. It really is very hard to give love and care for others when we are so empty, so that can be complicated if there are children and family members around you suffering. Find hope, something always comes your way to give you a light into a possible future self, a way through the darkness.
Missing my queen, So sorry for the loss of your wife. I know life is no longer the same anymore, and it rings so hollow with the echoes of the special love we have lost. Sorrow is so hard to overcome. After loss, days and nights seem so lonely. We plan our lives together and put so many hopes and dreams into the future. It took me a long time to move beyond the loss of my wife of 42 years, and my two sons also were shattered. It just takes a lot of effort to heal from loss. Yes, our wives were our queen. To lose her is to diminish ourselves as well. We are left with a hole in our heart and soul. As time passes, you need to find ways to help you face this loss. If you have family, talk with them. If your friends are around, reach out. If no one is close, grab the phone, hit the internet and speak that way. The one thing you will see is how others will seem to not understand and just wish the best for you. This loss is personal to you and you only. The loss has cut deep into your psyche and can haunt you if you don’t face your emotions. Complete strangers and those who have lost loved ones, friends and others in life understand the pain you're experiencing so well. They can share stories with you of how they feel, what their loved ones meant to them, and also offer to help as well. Just understand, this broken road you now walk is a long process. It takes openness, many tears, so much heartfelt comments on how you are feeling, and the release of the emotions that build up as time passes. As the days pass, find ways to cope, like exercise, reading, listening to music, watching happy things on television, and even going through the tokens of your times together. I hope the best for you. Please don’t give in to despair. Just know, with time, even though you will always miss your spouse, healing can come if you just take the time to heal. Peace be with you. -david This song is for you today
Missing my queen: I am so sorry for your loss, I understand how you feel. I lost my wife of 24 years last January, after 9 years of her fight with cancer. These past two months have been so difficult, I cry everyday, I scream and shout and use my punching bag a lot. Telling my story to anyone who listens has helped me a lot, talk to family, friends, forums like this. I am also going to a therapist once a week, that also helps, because it made me realize that I am normal, when I cry and don't know what to do. Please know that the pain will not last forever, I have talked to other people who have lost their spouses and they give me hope for the future. Although it has only been two months since losing my wife, I am starting to feel a little better, I do not cry when I leave work every afternoon. So, hang in there, keep talking and pray if you are a believer. I will pry for you!
I know this pain, I lost my Fiance this March 14 to Covid19. She had an underlying heart condition which made everything worse and I lost her. I'm now only starting to realise what happened, going through the time line, because looking back I can see things in 20-20. I'm now thankful that, I was ahead of everyone by two weeks with covid-19 and was able to be with her at her side until she passed and take care of her for that time which I am now thankful for. So many are separated I didn't get to tend her funeral due to covid19. Her mother assured me it was never to hurt me and told me how happy I made Aimee and was glad she had found me. Warms my heart. I love Aimee she is my angel and continue s to live on through me. Changing me for the better everyday. Feel free to contact me , feel better brother ✌
