Lost my dad

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Maureen53, Jan 14, 2018.

  1. Maureen53

    Maureen53 New Member

    New to this ... never went to support group before .... just feel alone in my grief ... my dad passed feb 1015. It's coming up on 3 years . I find that wether it's 1 yr 10 yrs 50 yrs the pain is still there .... does not feel like he had been gone that long . I feel as if part of me died that day . Have hard time being in the house that my parents shared for 30 years .... especially around the holidays . Don't know if this is normal? Have days were in ok but time from time it will just hit me , and I break down. I feel a certain amount of guilt like why did I. Not force him to go to dr .... or things I wanted to say to him I never got the chance to say.. if I try to talk to b/f his answer is " well people live then they die " hrs not much support ... I would think after loosing his wife in 2001& recently his own father he'd be understanding . He is not . I also feel so bad for my mom who was home when my dad passed suddenly .
     
  2. selby031

    selby031 New Member

    I will never say that I understand your loss because it was not mine. However, my dad did pass away suddenly just a little over a year ago and I think our pain may be somewhat similar. I can also relate to the fact that your partner doesn't quite get it. My wife always tries to make my grief about her/her grandmother (who passed away). I know that people like this may mean well, but it doesn't feel like anything they have to say on the subject is worth a damn... And in fact it makes it hurt worse sometimes. My mom has the same emptiness that I do... only hers is 40 years worth. I've been relapsing on benzos/painkillers/booze since my dad went away on September 6th, 2016.

    I feel bad now because I feel like I've made your loss about my own. But all I wanted to do was say that I'm with you. I don't really want to live or die. The ambivalence feels like a debilitating purgatory and I barely know my ups from my downs. Nothing brings me joy anymore and I don't know how to get it back.

    I don't know how any of this might help... Guess there was some catharsis in it for me. But again, I just wanted you to know I'm going through it with you. You're not alone. And it's not your fault. These things are out of our hands. And our parents would never want us to suffer for our own loss of them.
     
  3. Grieving1989

    Grieving1989 New Member

    I lost my dad in 2005 not a day goes by that I dont miss him I try to remember the fun thing. I pray that u found healing one day
     
  4. Morgan Benson

    Morgan Benson New Member

    I lost my Dad February 8 2018 tomorrow will be 2 months at 11:30 pm... I feel guilty and sad, mad, angry,and numb!!! I don't know how to live with this pain... The day my dad passed away I felt the same way you did that apart of me died when he passed away... I am so very sorry for your loss... I am not sure if it will get easier as time goes on but all we can do is try... If you want to talk I am here for you and maybe we can help each other out in our time of sadness...
     
  5. Morgan Benson

    Morgan Benson New Member