Lost my boyfriend.

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Samantha456, Apr 28, 2020.

  1. Samantha456

    Samantha456 New Member

    Hi there , I’m 25 and I lost my boyfriend Friday April 17th 2020 to a suspected Fentanyl overdose.... I didn’t even know he was using . I don’t know what to do
     
  2. Cora1961

    Cora1961 Well-Known Member

    Sorry for your loss. No matter how we lose our love ones, it is still very difficult. U can’t second guess everything and go what if this or what is that cuz it will try u crazy. Try to just take one day at a time and there will be bad days and good days. I lost my husband to cancer last October and it’s been a rough road. God bless and if u want to talk just let me know.
     
    Sweetcole likes this.
  3. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Samantha,

    I am saddened for the loss of your boyfriend. What makes this loss so hurtful is the senseless way it has come about. It doesn't matter any longer that he made a fatal mistake. All that matters now Samantha is you and your feelings. Allow yourself to cry.

    It doesn't matter whose fault it is now to you. You are the one who is left behind, and the one who must pick up your life and continue. I hope you will take the time to allow yourself to grieve the sorrow. If only life were not so complicated today with this stupid isolation and not being able to reach out, grab another and hold them and let them let loose their feelings.

    I was with my wife when she was notified of her two brothers and one sister's death. She was so broken inside, she couldn't stand, she was so lost, I held her each time and cried with and for her. As we attended each of those funerals, yes, she cried so openly, I held her, and all those present hugged and kissed her too. What can say for one who is so hurt inside other than why? After my wife's death, her last sister grabbed me and hugged me as I cried out in pain.

    First by phone or the internet and then when this hell of an isolation ends meet these people -a counselor, a psychiatrist, and even a priest. They can help a lot. Make sure to keep your family close and talk with them. After this virus started taking people's lives, I made the effort to mend relationships of the past and today, and each day I talk on the phone with my step-brother and two sisters and make sure to tell them I love them as I am ending the call.

    Also take care of your own well being and watch out for depression. Please do not blame yourself. I hope you will find some comfort soon and not give up hope.

    -david

    During this isolation - here are two artists collaborating - one from the USA and one from Italy

     
  4. Jonathan5757

    Jonathan5757 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear of your boyfriend passed from an OD . My mother passed that way. My fiance just passed from covid-19. I hope you find some peace in these people's words. There are lots of caring people around here. I cry about Aimee all the time, it's always a roller coaster of emotions all the time, this is my new normal . if you ever need a ear to listen or just vent feel free to contact me.

    Peace be with you.
    -Jonathan
     
  5. KarenNY

    KarenNY New Member

     
  6. KarenNY

    KarenNY New Member

    Hello Samantha. I lost my boyfriend on may 15, 2020. After a two week battle with sepsis, and being on a ventilator and getting off, and improving, he suddenly got worse and passed. He was 33. What I found out later was that he had tested positive for cocaine and had been using for years. He also had a damaged/failing liver. I never knew. The pain of losing someone you love is horrible enough, but when you add the pain of deception , it deepens the wound. I'd like to think that the fear of disapproval is why Oscar never told me. I'll never know now. What matters is staying strong and taking care of yourself. Make sure you allow yourself the time to grieve and make the best of this life. Some days are good, many are bad. I'm here if you need to talk.
     
    skies24 likes this.
  7. Jonathan5757

    Jonathan5757 Well-Known Member

    I deal with this on a constant and people use drugs as tools most abuse those tools and a lot of functioning addicts I've met plenty.There is people who let there use dictate everything they do...Ive enable multiple people does that make a evil or the drug evil no. It's a misuse of tools and human error. I daily to deal with the BS and just enjoy life as much as possible without get destructive, when your tools right you can help repair the house where another tool may torn it apart...I hope we learn to view drugs in this light

     
  8. Blue83

    Blue83 New Member

    I am 36 and lost my boyfriend unexpectedly in December. I also question what I didn’t know now. Devastated, confused, and sad. I’m so sorry for your loss.
     
    skies24 likes this.