Lost my beautiful daughter in Auto Accident

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Robin2460, Apr 27, 2020.

  1. Robin2460

    Robin2460 New Member

    I am married and had only one child. Danielle was a beautiful child - 24 years old, unfortunately she passed away in a fatal car accident on her way to work - her 2nd day.... She was at her previous job 5 years as a pre K teacher. She was the most amazing teacher so I believe her legacy lives on by all the lives she touched in those children that she taught. Even at the Funeral there were over 200 people there - I could not beleive that - I was actually thinking no more than 20 people - So i know she touched so many as that was her legacy.. I am planning on planting a tree and calling its Danielle's Tree of Life. I am having a hard time however with the fact that she was our only child and now... I have no more children. No Weddings, No Grandchildren no legacy of anyone to carry on the name. This is where it sometimes hits me so very hard. Somedays are good and some days are bad. I try so hard to be strong but i get those waves of missing her, her being my only child and not being able to share anything with her. We were so close - Danielle was my best friend and was my husbands baby girl. I find this subject so difficult - so this is a challenge for me - This is where I get stuck. I cant seem to go around it as hard as I try, it always comes back to me - who is going to take care of me like I take care of my mom or dad, or whose going to take care of my husband if something happens to me. I may sound selfish but this is a challenge i must overcome and hold on to her legacy that is so strong in my community. I myself am an only child with no sisters or brothers either... I need hel[ It would be appreciated - .. Forever Danielle <3
     
  2. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    Robin,
    I’m sobbing after reading your story, I lost my husband, but some of what you write hits home with me. I have the same fears as you mention, who will care for me now that I’m alone. And I also go down that road am I being selfish. I have 2 children so yes they’d be here for me. But it still weighs heavy on my mind. If I should turn sick as fast as Ron did, if I fall, I have Both RA and osteoarthritis, walk with a cane. I try not to let my mind go there.
    I lost my husband to a massive heart attack, he pervious had no health issues. On 11/17/18 at 9:30pm he didn’t feel well, then said it was his chest. Call 911. He was worked at the hospital by every cardiologist on duty, they couldn’t save him, I lost the love of my life at 11:34pm, 2 hours!
    But I understand your pain, your loss the things going through your mind. I’m so sorry your daughter was taken from you so tragically. She sounds like a beautiful young caring nurturing woman who touched many people’s lives. I made a flower garden to honor my husband, and placed the first air compressor he bought for our business in the middle. Hoping to purchase a memorial bench this year. I love your idea for the tree. I had bought my husband a weeping red Japanese maple for father’s day the year before he passed. He loved that tree and now it means the world to me. I’m certain that planting a tree in her honor will feel good to you.
    I totally understand your pain and loss of your daughter/best friend and how your mind goes down certain paths. I’m hoping with time you’ll be more able to cherish the wonderful memories. And realize just how much your beautiful young daughter gave to her community in such a short time. All this takes time and lots of it. One step at a time. We’re living in such uncertain times right now, and I know it’s affecting me and I’ve taken steps backwards because of it, I know it’s affecting you as well. I know you have your husband for support, I hope you have family and friends as well. Talking about our loved ones is a great source of therapy. Just like being on this site, sharing your story with people and reading others stories is so helpful. You’ve come to the right place, you’ll find kind, caring and compassionate people here. And we all understand your pain, and that has a good feel to it. Not being alone in how you’re feeling. Most people in our day to day life don’t understand how deep this pain is because they haven’t had such a loss, there’s where this site helps so much.
    You’re in my thoughts and prayers. There will be better days ahead
    ❤️ Robin
     
  3. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Robin,

    My deepest sympathies for the loss of your only child Danielle. I am so sad for your loss, there are just no words that can I can say for your loss.

    Danielle sounds like a woman, your daughter, who was driven to excel in life. She is so similar to my sister Marcia who taught elementary school in Augusta, Maine for 48 years until she retired. Those who give of themselves for others are special. Each year she would give part of income for supplies for her children for games, for supplies she might need and so much more. Each summer she would hold a BBQ for her class and I was invited to be the entertainment, it was a privilege and honor.

    The size of the crowd that attended her funeral touched my heart, and I am sure each one of them were profoundly sad on that day as everyone who came, and of course, those who could not, were saying a special goodbye to an amazing teacher who touched their children's heart and them as well. My sister always tells me of how so many children who have grown make sure to bring her small gifts and go out of their way to say hello. I know she wells inside, as I am Danielle did each day as she looked out her children in front of her. I know when I grew up there is only one teacher I remember, it wasn't because she made me smarter, it was because she made me feel loved and cared for each day I was in her class. It was a very sad day when Ms. Noberry passed on, my greatest teacher ever.

    The Danielle Tree is a beautiful idea. I am certain it will be one of the greatest trees ever grown.

    Robin, I am so sorry, and also have two sons. The loss of any child of ours, let alone the only one brings pure heartache to us. But I want you to remember Danielle left a part of herself with every child she ever taught. You can't help but see that in their actions each day, and their life forward. When my sister was a student-teacher she lived with three other teachers. Maine winters can be harsh as I am sure your winters are as well. Martina Wilkerson, a beautiful person was killed on an icy road. It was so sad she was taken so young.

    Again, so very sorry for both of you as parents to see Danielle pass away. None of us ever wish to be faced with such horror. I wish there were easier answers that time helps us all overcome our loss and with faith in ourselves we learn to move forward in life. Of course, it will take a long long time to accept Danielle's loss.

    Just because you feel alone, you have come to a place where so many have suffered indescribable losses of so many. People here come from so many walks of life, some of the faith, some not, some now single, some not, some with children, some not, and on it goes. We collectively have cried an ocean of tears, and our eyes will never not feel the loss of another loved one. So please take care of your precious feelings and just know here you are never alone. I was married for 42 years until cancer took my wife.

    Please take care of yourself. Watch out for despair that can lead to depression. Peace be with you. Even though I am not sure you are of faith, I am a Roman Catholic, and will close with may God Bless and guide you forward in life.

    -david


    This is words written for the loss of a daughter



    This is a song for you

     
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