Lost my 28 year old son

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by lynda, Aug 17, 2019.

  1. lynda

    lynda New Member

    My son, Michael was hit by a hit and run driver while walking on May 22, 2019.
    I am very devastated and feel so alone with very little support. Sometimes I
    think I'm going to go crazy or have a nervous breakdown.
     
  2. donnafagone

    donnafagone New Member

    God Bless Michael. Have you dreamed of him? I lost my son around the same time. I will tell you that for the first six weeks I thought I was going insane and having a breakdown. I would begin shaking for no apparent reason. I spend so much time in bed, it's ridiculous. I was trying to live through the grief with no help but I gave in to my doctor and started taking a mild anti-depressant and I see a therapist once or twice a month. Have you started a journal listing your feelings and emotions? Or seen a doctor?
     
  3. lynda

    lynda New Member

    I haven't dreamt of him yet and really surprised that I haven't. We were so close.
    I too feel as though I'm going insane. Nobody seems to understand. I just started back on a small dose of antidepressant med. I will be seeing a grief therapist today which will be my 2nd visit and will continue once weekly.
    I am suffering secondary losses as well such as not able to see my grandson (mike's son). The esstranged wife is a very disturbed person. She is also withholding my son's ashes from me. And on top of all that, my husband wants a divorce.
    This is very overwhelming.
     
  4. donnafagone

    donnafagone New Member

    Wow! You have it coming at you from all directions. You have my utmost respect and prayers for your healing. Do you have other children or grandchildren? I have two daughters. Being with your grandson would be a source of healing for both. Do you live in a state where grandparents can go to court for visitation? If so, after you are stronger, you may want to pursue.

    My son had 2 daughters and we are close. The younger one (20) calls me when she falls to pieces. We comfort each other. He was legally separated from his wife 4 years ago but the divorce was not final so the house he built goes to her. These are the things tough to swallow. At least my granddaughters have his ashes and they gave a few of us a spoonful in a tiny urn. The older daughter and her fiance' want to buy my son's house. I have not stepped a foot in his house since he died as I don't think I can handle it. And I am still waiting on a autopsy that I had to pay for.

    Were you at his funeral? I too can't seem to dream of my son. I've been told I'm trying to hard. Others in my family have had dreams and I've dreamed of my mother who passed away 6 months ago but not him.

    You should be getting your husband's understanding support during this difficult time. I'm so sorry that he's not there for you and hope you have others who are.
     
  5. Jane Khaled

    Jane Khaled New Member

     
  6. Jane Khaled

    Jane Khaled New Member

    Hi,
    Lost my only on to an accident 7 years ago. Still feels like yesterday. I also feel totally overwhelmed at times. Less now than in the beginning.
    Talking about him with friends and family does help.
    I give myself little projects to get done to force myself to concentrate on something else.
    The feeling of loss is like someone tore out my heart from my body, stomped all over it then stuffed it back inside me and said "carry on".
     
  7. donnafagone

    donnafagone New Member

    Sorry Lynda for your loss. I understand and wish you strength. I think it is always going to be difficult but get more bearable. At least that is what I hear from others.
     
  8. Jennifercosta143

    Jennifercosta143 New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss . i lost my 23 year old son to a horrific motorcycle accident in june 2018. I have two other boys but i feel like im all alone . noone wants to talk about my son and i talk about him all the time .
     
  9. vinnycapp

    vinnycapp New Member

    My loss is very recent. My 42 yr old son was found dead 0n 11/21/19 following a long bout of depression, diabetes & end stage kidney failure. So many questions to never be answered. Sudden overwhelming sadness comes & goes. I pray for you to be comforted!