Lost my 15 year old daughter .

Discussion in 'Loss of Child' started by Teresa101, Dec 6, 2018.

  1. Teresa101

    Teresa101 Member

    Even after 10 years Sept. 11th I will never be the same. I can't even grieve my husband of 29 years that happened 13 months later. I just don't know where to put it all.
     
  2. Teresa101

    Teresa101 Member

    Since there is no time limit on grief and I remain single after being widowed I spend most of my days home with my dog. I hate having to even go to grocery store . Some say I'm depressed, I feel like I just rather be alone. I put a cross in my back yard and spread my daughter's ashes in Sept the 10th year anniversary. As people thought it would be best for me . I didnt get closer. Actually the boy that killed her only got 3 years . I feel robbed. And the room I sleep in where I found her my husband laid until he went into the hospital and passed away 13 months later . And my father in law passed in that room. That's a lot to think about . Not sure why I'm writing it down now . I never have.
     
  3. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your losses. Somtimes just writing things down can help. I hope it does.
     
    Teresa101 likes this.
  4. Teresa101

    Teresa101 Member

    Thank you. I feel like I'm ranting, after all it's been 9 & 10 years. But to me the pain is like it was today. Maybe writing it down will help me move on.
     
  5. Teresa101

    Teresa101 Member

    I dont think I belong here. Most of these people are in new grief. They dont understand. It's always going to be new grief no matter how many years .
     
  6. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    There are people here who have lost loved ones years ago. Hopefully, some of them will see your post.
     
  7. lisa onto

    lisa onto New Member

    I understand you.I would rather be alone too.my son 37 just passed on nov.29th.he was mentally ill and also liked to try drugs but was not an addict. he let people stay in his trailor who were homeless and were real drug addicts. one guy especially was told by me to stay away fro my sons trailor.my son had admitted to me a week earlier he finally kicked him out for good but the guy told him he would get him. on nov.28th at night the guy came over to his place again at 12 at night with no place to sleep and my son let him in and within an hour my son was dead.the cops knocked on my door 4am with the news that devastated me and I knew right away that the person who gave a pill or something to my son was that asshole.I went the next day and found that guys stuff there but he fled. I am waiting for toxicology now and its so hard not knowing exactly how he died.I miss him so much, he was like my best friend, not only my son.
     
  8. Cheryl neeb

    Cheryl neeb Member

    I am not new to grief, lost my sister and dad 9 years ago, then almost 2 years ago, lost my husband and son, unexpectantly. For me, I don't think time will ever help, it seems to get worse. Initially I kept crazy busy to keep my mind focused, but as time goes on and reality sinks in; my husband and son are not coming back, I don't have my husband to share in the grief of losing our son, I don't have my son, and losing a child is absolutely traumatizing. The dual loss consumes my mind and breaks my heart with every breath. Have you tried counseling? I went to a few sessions, but felt I would be better served taking with others who have experienced this themselves. Sleep is elusive, panic sets in when I try to sleep.
     
    Jadefeb14 likes this.
  9. Jadefeb14

    Jadefeb14 New Member

    I lost my daughter on February 14 2019 she was only 17 , the night before her death she said Dad you been single too long you need to find someone to share Valentines Day with, Tomorrow Dad you and I will go to the crackle barrel to have lunch, I said ok Jade we gave each other a hug and a kiss we both said I love you and see you tomorrow, my daughter said don’t forget to wake me up Dad I said I won’t see you in the morning, Next morning I get up and decided I get ready and when I am finished I go wake up my daughter, now I am ready very excited to be going to crackle barrel, I go in her room and she was sitting up in her bed and boyfriend laying next to her, unfortunately I went to wake my daughter up and she is not responding and then I realize her body is motionless and not breathing, I can’t get myself to finish but, life has not been the same. I fake more being happy. Everything about life I look at differently I use to not think about death now I am ready for it at anytime. Death is all I think about when will God reunite me with my daughter. Maybe in my 60s or 70s or will I have to wait until 80s or 90s
     
  10. Aliceisalwaysok

    Aliceisalwaysok New Member

    My husband left after an argument and never came home, he took his life in the most violent way. It’s so hard but I have to be strong for my kids. I look for strength any where I can
     
  11. Jack Longino

    Jack Longino New Member

     
  12. Jack Longino

    Jack Longino New Member

    Please consider therapy . You have suffered a tremendous loss, and some losses are too big to handle alone. There are therapists associated with, say, churches that are free, and there are some who work on a sliding fee based on income if cost is a problem. Good luck