I'm still a mess, my husband of 35 years and our 23 year old son died within 7 weeks of each other, both unexpectantly. It has been 1.5 years of thinking of them, missing them, trying to find some way to see a future. I stay busy, teach, work around the house, but there is not a second where they are not on my mind. I rehash every conversation, beat myself up for missed opportunities to express how much I appreciated the big ways and small ways they filled my heart. I am so very tired of this pain, am a strong person, but just drained of any joy. My best friend, my sister, and our beloved dad died within months of each other 9 years ago, so I am familiar with the complexities of a dual loss, but losing my husband and son has completely broken me.