My husband died Dec 1,2018. He lived in a care facility since 2009. He had Alzheimer's. I reached out to someone who also lost their spouse. I thought I made it clear I was a friend but he couldn't or wouldn't accept that. Finally I had to say we are not a couple I am your friend to which he said it was a waste of time and was going to forget me and lose all contact information about me. All I wanted was someone to talk to who had been thru this before. Anyway that plus still grieving my husband has really got the tears flowing today . I'm struggling to find a purpose and move forward. I know God is with me but i just feel so alone.
Sue, maybe this is "tough love" but anyone who blows you off simply because you seek friendship is a jerk. We are all extremely vulnerable and during this time of grief, anyone who will listen is appreciated. The loneliness is the hardest and I'll strike up a conversation with the mailman or grocery store clerk. I can understand how two widowed individuals could "hit it off" and become instant friends simply because they have much in common and most likely share memories about their spouse that they normally would keep to themselves. But when the relationship becomes romantic, both have to be willing and both must sort out whether their feelings are real or just trying to fill the void from the loss of their spouse - tricky business for sure. As with all relationships the "proceed with caution" sign is up especially in our situation. Obviously this guy forgot about what you needed in the first place - a friend first and foremost. Hopefully all of us these boards can once again find purpose and meaning in life.
Thank you ksteve. I agree 100%. A new relationship or getting involved is the last thing that is on my mind. Unfortunately meeting his needs meant more to him than anything I was.
