Hello I've never been on a grief site before , but I just need someone to talk to , my life is so stressful , family fighting amongst them selves for stupid stuff , and I get pulled in it , I'm so tired and have no support from my kids , I just want to lay down on the floor and fade away , then on the other hand at times I want to just beat the walls till my hands are raw and the bleeding , my husband died from cancer , stomach , lungs , kidney , and brain , he was eaten up with it before we found out he even had it , I cared for him in our home till he passed away , I'm mad so mad , we found out on august 25 , 2017 he passed away on octber 12 2017 , but in between that time I watched him fade away slowly he lost about 80 pounds till he was just a shell , , I'll never forget the smell of the old blood he would throw up in a pail as I held his head with a wet rag as he cried in pain , how can you every forget that , and move on without losing a part of your self
Carla Jo, I am so sorry for your loss. I think the experience you describe is one that so many grievers here can relate to. A loss like the one you describe is hard enough, but then other life continues to happen - the dynamics and complexity of extended family and all that comes with it. Not only does that add stress, but when the focus is on issues besides the loss, it can feel very isolating. Many grievers describe feeling lonely in their grief and I think it's for so many of the reasons you are experiencing. But I hope you know that when you are here you are not alone. There are people who can understand the heartache, the pain, and the lingering trauma that can stay after caring for a loved one who is dying. Moving on is no easy thing, and I think there is always a quest for balance. To be able to move past the pain, without leaving the love and the memories behind. I find that most people I work with are able to do this in time, in their own way. There's just no saying what that time is or how exactly it happens. Having faith and patience with the process helps, and most of all getting some support. I'm glad you've joined us, and I hope you can find some comfort here. I wish you all the best. Please take care~
I'm lonely and lost without my husband, he died on June 25th 2018 with brain tumors. I miss him so much we would have been married 9 years ago this coming October. My husband loved me so much and spoiled me rotten.
