I am lost. Nothing to live for. All my friends have deserted and cut me off. They have no understanding of what I am going through. Who am I. My oldest daughter is dead. Second daughter is addicted and lies. No support. My husband is not supportive. He is not their father. I had to cut ties with my toxic family. I just need help. Can’t sleep. Nothing helps. My insurance will not cover any psychiatric care. I have to pay cash.
Kathleen, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, and your other daughter has her own issues it sounds like. I feel for you, but you’re right, people don’t understand the pain that comes with such a loss. You have to go through it to understand. I’ve cut ties with some of my family members too and have lost friends. It’s a lonely life we’re trying to get through my husband was my everything and I lost him suddenly to a massive heart attack. My life is nothing like it was. I’ve made a memorial garden to honor my husband and I still try every day to do things to honor him and make him proud I’m his wife. I’m sorry your husband doesn’t support you, you desperately need his support whether they were his children or not. I see you enjoy the beach, I do too. It’s a calming place for me. Even though being there without Ron makes my heart ache. The sound the feel of the ocean breeze, is good for me. My daughter has a beach pass to take her Jeep on the beach and we go often. As you know there is no magic wand to help us feel better. But do the things that you’ve always enjoyed, try to stay busy to keep your mind occupied. Try not to think of family and friends who have abandoned you, instead try to think of anything positive. A beautiful flower, birds chirping go for walks. I know you’ll have to push yourself but try to. Your daughter doesn’t want you suffering like this, use her as your inspiration like I use Ron as mine. I use deep breathing exercises to help me I know others use them too. They help some people get through rough times. Visit this site often and read and share stories. It does help to know that everyone on here understands what you’re feeling. Keep pushing forward, there will be better days ahead. be good to you, Robin
Kathleen I feel your pain. My story at the moment. I lost my daughter 4 years ago and seems my pain grows instead of lessens. Plus, lost my husband 14 years ago and still suffering from that loss. My life isn’t what it used to be. I find myself all alone, like you. I have surface friends, but no one that lives near to be able to call on when my loneliness is at its peak. After a week of not going out, no one to talk to and mostly sleeping all day my loneliness has peaked. This pandemic has also aggravated the situation. I have a son that also has chosen to alienate me. He lives 45 minutes away. Never returns phone calls or texts of invitations to dinner or just to catch up on what’s new in each other’s lives. I have two granddaughters near by in their teens. My daughter that I lost is their mother. I want desperately to have a life with them in it. But they are always too busy to visit, go out to dinner, etc. I am super depressed, on antidepressants and still feel depressed and alienated from everyone. So, sorry to share my story that is probably much like yours. As you well know, everyone that I do have a connection with is tired of the same story. The truth is. They can’t fill the void. Only our lost loved ones that were once there and now gone can fill that void. Life goes on.
I completely understand. Not a phone call to ask how are you? Family is not supportive nor care. Alone and lonely is hard. No happy horizons. Why am I here. The grandchildren have no time for you. All the same for me. My daughter Krystal died at 39. My grief is worse as time goes on. I believe it is called delayed grief. Plus I retired and moved away. Krystal has been gone 3 years June 22. Peace to you.
