Loss of son

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Ducky, Jun 8, 2018.

  1. Lucy MKJ

    Lucy MKJ Member

    I have many videos of Brian playing his guitar and cello. He also played the piano and drums. He wrote songs, played my favorites too. He sang 2 songs at his wedding reception. I have those too. I cry all the time when one of his songs comes on. Great to have memories!
     
  2. Hello! I too recently lost my angel 37 yrs in a car accident. Life will never be the same, I dont know what to do, I really wish to just die.
     
  3. I lost my angel in September, car accident too. Im still in disbelief, I cant talk about it there are no words. I am numb with no fear, as I am living the greatest fear of all in what seems like a nightmare.
     
  4. Hamjml3

    Hamjml3 Member

    I am very sorry. I will never say it gets easier, it just doesn’t. We learn to live with the new normal, don’t like that either but everyday is a challenge! I tell myself if I can make my bed every morning, I’ll be ok. But some days.....it gets made but WHY? Reading gets me by! Books with small chapters, for lack of concentration! It’s hard to focus and think at the same time! Talk about him to ANYOnE who will listen and accept HUGS! They work!
     
  5. I was going to ask how you were today, though remembered how much I hate it when people ask that of me.
    I live in a small city in Australia and everyone knows one another so I don't like going out don't like to face anyone I am so sensitive to their reaction. If you can understand that. I suppose my expectations are for God sake my Jason has gone the world should have ended, and everyone is carrying on like nothing has happened? ??
     
  6. Hamjml3

    Hamjml3 Member

    I say I have bad days and not so bad days. No such thing as good days any more! I had to delete Facebook because everyone just went on with their lives! It hurt so much! I went back on but for my sanity! It is my memorial page so if anyone doesn’t like it, they are free to leave! I find myself constantly looking up to the sky, looking for signs, heart shaped clouds, initials..anything that I can believe is him! I hope today is not so bad for you! what is your sons name?
     
  7. JASON CARLO after my dad who passed away just a yr before he could meet him.
    My dad never had a son I lost him too suddenly in a shooting accident he was only 47.
    There were so many things I still wanted to do for him what do I do with them now?
    OMG! This is so not real I tell myself we will be together again and for now he is with me wherever I am.
    Somehow I feel he protects me as I can't fully comprehend what has happened I don't think I ever will.
    If I do I would truly just die.
     
  8. Hamjml3

    Hamjml3 Member

    Oh there are days I just want to die! Sometimes all I think about is his name, and I cry! I’m trying so hard to think “ he is here with me, he is around me all the time” but then some days I don’t believe that! I’m selfish, I WANT HIM here with me!
    I live in a little city, only been here 2 years so no one really knows me, and I just feel so alone!my husband and I moved away due to a transfer at his work and I feel so guilty! He begged us to move back! BEGGED us! If only I’d’ve listened! Maybe he’d still be here!
     
  9. Hi
    HI ! what is your name? I'm Nadia.
    You mentioned your sons wedding did he have children?
    Jason missed out on being a parent I know he wanted that too. There was so much left to do . Jason took us so many places though. I've just come back from Bali as he was to open an Italian restaurant there with his uncle so I went along for Jas. We worked hard to refurbish this place.
    His uncle relied almost entirely on Jas as he was the chef.
    It was bitter sweet, feeling destroyed by the fact Jason should have been with me.
     
  10. Hamjml3

    Hamjml3 Member

    Hello, my name is Dianna. My son was never married but he did have 2 beautiful children! My grand daughter and grandson! They are 8 and 3. Matthew led a very busy, kinda reckless life, he did so much in his short 29 years, he was FINALLY ready to settle down when tragedy struck! I am still in shock! I have moments when I still scream! Still can not comprehend he is gone! Still so angry at life and that I am alive and he is not! It is not fair!!
    Do you have any other children? I have a daughter and another son and 6 total grandchildren but I feel like I failed my Matthew and just want to be with him and fix this!!
     
    Brian'sMomma likes this.
  11. Hamjml3

    Hamjml3 Member

    I was wondering how you are? I know! I don’t like hearing that either!! We just ARE! Just know I am thinking of you!
     
  12. Ducky

    Ducky Member

    I try to get through each day. Sometimes second by second. It takes every thing I have to get up and go to work watching everyone else just go on with their life. My son should be living his life right along side them. There was soo much he didn't get to do. It's not fair. I am so angry right now and days I wonder what's the point. How are you doing?
     
  13. Jason too, a reckless life he was 37 and I still was waiting for him to settle.
    He has many relationships, however none fulfilled him.
    Jason took us so many places venturing of somewhere .
    He left me with Bali, he and his uncle had planned to open and Italian restaurant so I went with his uncle just to see it through.
    Bitter sweet as I had many moments where I could only think that he should be here too.
    I have 2 other sons and my daughter has 2 boys.
    However like you I feel like I failed and have so much I want to do for Jason.
    He is all I can think of.
     
    Brian'sMomma likes this.
  14. Reading back to our conversations, I just repeated myself.
    you know when I received the call from my daughter that Jason was in an accident, it was something I kind of expected. I somehow always had this fear for him and straight away I knew it was fatal. So many times throughout his life I had to solve things for him.