Loss of sister and I can’t bear it

hi. I lost my best friend and sister to cancer 6 months ago. I watched her suffer and eventually lost the fight. I feel I failed her. I am older and I have always fought her battles. This time around I couldn’t . Am so lonely and unhappy and angry all the time. I can’t stop crying. People think by now I should be “ over it”. I miss her so much. She was my best friend and anchor. I don’t know how to live without her. How do I get rid of this pain I feel?

 

Chv, I wish i had the answer for you. I wish i had the answer for both of us.
I lost my brother in January 2019 after a 18 month fight with cancer too.
Like you, i suffer from lonliness and anger. It is possible to be lonely when surrounded by people because you are missing that special connection that was lost.
I suffer from the anger. Anger that we did not take proper advantage of the time that he had, anger that I was powerless to assist, anger that he lived a life that contributed to his sickness.
We will never be 'over it'. It is not going to get better for us because we will never stop loving them or missing them. But I believe that if you can let yourself grieve, get past the anger, that you will be able to visit her in your dreams and finally find peace with the situation.

Feel free to chat anytime and I know the pain you feel.
Carl

 

I can understand exactly how you feel. I lost my sister and best friend only a few days and have the overwhelming sadness, grief, loneliness and a feeling of emptiness and not being able to live the rest of my life without her. People say that it takes time but like you I cannot imagine being able to get rid of the pain. I am new to this site and so glad I found it. It helps to be able to communicate with people who are going through the same things as I am.