Loss of several family members and beloved dogs

My name is Darlene and I am learning to deal with the losses I've had during 2020.
My dad passed January 4, 2020, my mom passed January 8, 2020. If I wasn't reeling enough, I lost three of my beloved dogs. All due to being older, 15, 19, and 15 years old. Even so they passed over three months, one a month. My pastor passed, and two cousins passed. Both had diabetes, gave up on life, drank until their bodies simply stopped.
I haven't even been able to address their passing since I'm so busy with legal matters.
What's left of my "family" have completely abandoned me. No calls, no texts, no anything.
I am trying my best to stay ahead of the sadness I feel but am slipping a bit. My birthday is coming up October 30. This is the first year without my mom and dad. It's the first year for Thanksgiving and Christmas without them. There were little traditions that my mom did since I was three years old. I'll be 64 this year. No traditional little song, no little cake or flowers picked from the yard.
My mom had dementia. I took care of her for the last 13 years. It was hard but I didn't mind. My dad passed from heart complications. No See's Candy this year, not that I need it, but reality is surely hitting now.
I feel alone and sad. That's the truth though. I am alone without family and I am saddened as I miss my mom and dad.
Anyway, I needed to share so the thoughtswon't keep playing over and over. I appreciate this site for letting me share...

 

Sorry for your losses doesnt feel like enough! I wish I could send you sees candy, set a place for you at our non existent Thanksgiving and let you join our disfunction! You are heard!

 

Thinking of you today on your birthday and sending prayers your way.