Loss of my son Age 44 to colon cancer

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Juanita Narenco, Sep 10, 2018.

  1. Juanita Narenco

    Juanita Narenco New Member

    On June 9,2018, God took my son from this earth. He had been in and out of hospitals, so I was ready to say goodbye. The problem is that it is so hard to cope with his loss. Yes, he was in a lot of pain and he is no longer in that pain, but still, I want to speak to him , because there was so much I didn’t get to tell him. My only connection to him now is his wife and son that he left behind.
     
  2. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Very sorry to hear about your son. Whether or not you are "ready" to say goodbye to your loved one, it is never easy to cope with the loss. You do have your daughter-in-law and grandson - and many memories. I hope this site helps you.
     
  3. Juanita Narenco

    Juanita Narenco New Member

    Thank you for understanding.
     
  4. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Juanita, I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I'm not sure an anticipated loss is necessarily easier than a sudden one, though we seem to expect it to be. We can be glad that a loved one's suffering has ended, but we're still going to wish they were here with us - and wish that they didn't have to experience that pain in the first place. I think in the time following the loss of someone who was sick there is still a lot of processing that needs to happen, as we operate in more of a survival mode when caring for a loved one who is ill. Be patient with yourself and take the time you need to mourn this loss in the way that feels right for you. I hope the connection of your son's family remains a strong one for you and that you can all find a way to support one another through such a difficult time. I'm glad you've found us and I hope you can also find some comfort here~
     
  5. Lory

    Lory New Member

    Dear Juanita, my deepest condolences to you on the loss of your beloved son. Over time, I will believe you will find many connections to him--not just his wife and your grandchild. My son left a fiancee, and no children. I have found connections in others who have had similar losses, connections to his Army family, his music family (he was a magnificently talented musician) and in nature. Your loss is so fresh, it is all you can do to remind yourself to breathe in and out right now. You likely don't have the energy for much connection yet. I lost my son in March of 2017 and truly don't remember much of the first year that followed. I think our brains protect us from that which we cannot bear at the moment. Be patient and loving with yourself and give yourself much grace. There are times when I know my son is near by. I am not a believer in any traditional organized religion, but I do believe that the body is a shell and a soul is eternal and that we will meet again on the other side. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Sincerely, Lory
     
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  6. Amysmom

    Amysmom New Member

    Dear Juanita, I too am so sorry for your loss. I am also in the first year of losing my daughter. I do have a strong, deep faith, and know she is in a much better place but I still wish she was here. Every day brings new challenges living without our loved one. I don't weep as much as I did and some days feel kinda normal. February 20 will be the first year mark. I hope this finds you hanging in there and know you are not alone.