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Loss of my grandparents

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by felicity18, Nov 4, 2018.

  1. felicity18

    felicity18 Member

    Hello,

    I really need some advice.

    Between 2006 and 2017 I have lost all of my grandparents. Ever since my grandmother died suddenly in October of last year things have not been the same. I feel like there's this void left behind by their presence in my life. I just don't know what to do.

    I just spent a whole year without any grandparents in my life. I don't know how to deal with this void that I feel. What can I do?

    Anyway, any thoughts or advice would be most appreciated.

    felicity18
     
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Felicity, I'm so sorry for your losses. Grandparents are such important people and represent such a special relationship that nothing else can really match. My grandparents were a very big part of my childhood and they provided so much love and kindness. But for whatever reason I find few people can help validate this loss, and I'm sure that's adding to your pain. I suppose it's because we're "supposed" to lose our grandparents and that our culture doesn't give a lot of time to grieve especially someone older. As for your question, "what can I do?". We hear that a lot here, it's a question so many grievers wonder about and because of that I wrote an article for our blog that I hope you'll find helpful. I'm including that below and I welcome you to visit our resources for more help coping, along with the pages of our forums here. I'm glad you are seeking help and I hope you can find some here.
    Please take care...https://www.griefincommon.com/blog/what-to-do-if-you-dont-know-what-to-do-after-loss/
     
  3. felicity18

    felicity18 Member

    Thanks for the article. It was a good read. It's just that the first anniversary of the death of my last grandparent has me feeling the void and emptiness even more. How do I deal with not having my grandparents around?

    I have dealt with each of their deaths individually and moved on the best I could. What's bothering me is not having them present in my life. I miss them.

    felicity18
     
  4. Syra

    Syra New Member

    Felicity, I want to start off by saying I'm sorry for your loss. I am in the same situation as you, I lost a grandparent 3 months ago and am finding it hard to keep going on with life without them. I feel the loss everyday, I joined this forum with the hopes of finding some resources that can help or some ways to reduce the heartbreak. It is always hard going through life without the people that you were so used to seeing all the time. I can't talk to others about how I am feeling because as Griefic pointed out, some cultures have normalized the idea of loosing an elderly and don't mourn them the same. Although I may not be in any position to give you advice, I want you to know that there are many of us out here who understand how you feel and sometimes it's not answers we're seeking, it's people who can listen and understand.
     
    griefic likes this.
  5. felicity18

    felicity18 Member

    I have question.

    What do I do with this emptiness that I feel since now that they are all gone?

    felicity18
     
  6. Lindajill

    Lindajill New Member

    Hi Felicity

    Sorry I’m crying as I write this, my Gran and Grandad were my world so I understand. My Mum died when I was 14.
    After my Gran died, I found thinking of our happy memories together helped me. Probably like you, I felt so lost, like a part of me was missing. I did a lot of walking and gardening. Looking back I think I was wrong to spend so much time alone.
    I’m on a waiting list for grief counselling. Maybe that would be something you could think about.
    Sorry this is a bit short, it’s late in the UK.
    Take care
    Jill x
     
  7. felicity18

    felicity18 Member

    Thanks Jill for your advice. I really do appreciate it.

    What has helped me recently, in dealing with the void that I feel is having pictures of my grandparents on my wall. I don't why but just being able to see their faces in those pictures has helped me. It's hard to explain but for some reason it comforts me to look at those pictures. I will always miss them and love them.

    Its amazing how something so simple can provide you with some measure of comfort.

    felicity18