My mother had carcinoid disease which ended up damaging her heart valves, causing heart failure. The doctors did not prioritize her case and when they finally referred her for surgery, she passed away one week before surgery. She started not being able to breathe last December and it took until April to schedule her for surgery. I feel so lost with no siblings and my father has been deceased since 1995. I have a 4 year old boy and a hubby but I feel so alone without my mother or anyone who can share any history with me. She sold her house and moved across the country to be close to us in 2013 and I thought we would have her around for many more years. Nothing seems the same anymore. I don't enjoy anything and each day is a struggle. I have so many regrets - things I never got to do with her and my son. I also feel so overwhelmed with guilt. I was so stressed out the months before she passed as I was the only one caring for her and my family as well. I feel like I should have done more and not been so impatient at times. I feel like I am in a very dark place. I don't know how to feel part of a family anymore. Friends help but don't fully understand and they have their issues too. Anyone in a similar situation?