Loss of husband

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Beaniele, Jan 2, 2019.

  1. Beaniele

    Beaniele New Member

    My husband died suddenly of cardic arrest on Nov. 16, 2018. I can not stop crying. We were together for 38 years.
     
    Terri Lea likes this.
  2. On nov. 16 2018 my girlfriend was killed instantly while riding her mountain bike she was only 26, and I cant stop crying, I'm lost
     
  3. Beaniele

    Beaniele New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. I have been going to a grief therapist which has helped.

    Just have to take it one day at a time and do what you can for yourself.
     
  4. I have ins. Went to immediate care goout some meds, doesn't help, scheduling to see a counselor had been difficult, everyone seems a month or 2 out, ben doing it mostly on my own, realizing it's impossible, and hey im really sorry for your loss,I noticed the date like any of that matters,I've just never experienced any close to this in my life, I want prepared
     
  5. Beaniele

    Beaniele New Member

    I was not prepared either. My husband walked down the hall and next thing I know he fell and stopped breathing. CPR and paramedics could not save the person who I loved more than anything. Coming to terms is the hardest thing I will ever have to do. My therapist said download a meditation app and use when the anxiety shows up. I think that will help sometimes. Baby steps.
     
  6. I couldn't imagine going throughall that, my girlfriend ran marathons, 1/2 marathons, even the chicago marathon, just an amazing person, happy and full of life, my employer allowed me 2 months off even more if I need it, I'm going back monday though, big big step for me
     
  7. N ya that day I went to work, I knew her route n she promised me if she felt it was too dangerous she would turn around, at her half way stop she texted me she loved me missed me and that was it, I estimate 9 minutes later she got hit
     
  8. Beaniele

    Beaniele New Member

    I am so so sorry.
     
  9. Tammy S

    Tammy S New Member

    My husband also died suddenly while I was sleeping. I came downstairs with my nine year old son and was horrified for what I saw. We are both traumatized and I have flashback from it. My son asks me if I am dead at night. How do I get over this?
     
  10. I don't how to carry on yet, but I know she would want me too, it feels impossible at this point, I read alot and apparently it's definitely life changing and life will just never be the same, I guess my only shot at anything would be to find someone in a similar situation to try and get through life, right now life is taking forever, I can't wait to be with her again
     
  11. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your husband. I lost my mother suddenly in May. She was there at night and gone in the morning. I found her face-down on the floor, cold and stiff. That is an image I will never get rid of, but it is getting better. Hopefully, it will get better for you too.
     
  12. Terri Lea

    Terri Lea Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I were together 38 years, as well. I will be praying for you. Just cry when you need to. I find the tears wash some of the pain away, if only for a short while.
     
  13. DDHunter

    DDHunter Member

    I totally understand. My husband died suddenly two days after our 39th anniversary. One minute I was talking to him and 10 minutes later he was gone. Sudden cardiac arrest. He had no symptoms. After the autopsy, the coroner called me with a preliminary report. He said my husband had an extremely enlarged heart. I said, "Of course he did. He had the biggest heart of anyone I know". The first 6 months I was in shock. Just going through the motions of a life. The next 6 months got better. But these last 6 months have gotten worse. I cry everyday and don't want to live without him. But I must for I have a lot of love and compassion to give and help others. Grief never goes away. It can be happy or sad. Grief just becomes part of your life. I try to focus on how fortunate I was to have this wonderful human in my life for almost 40 years. What a blessing. And now I have his spirit and memories for the rest of my life. I am hopeful that I will rise up out of this rut I am in and carry on with my life on my own.

    Thank you all for sharing. Reading your stories helps me so much and I don't feel so alone knowing there are others who feel exactly the way that I do. Spread the Love.
     
  14. Terri Lea

    Terri Lea Member

    Just knowing others understand me helps much. Very little does these days. This does. I don't feel as though you guys are tired of hearing me. I know you understand and care. Thank you for that.

    We are stronger than we know.
    Braver than we feel.
    We will survive.
     
  15. DDHunter

    DDHunter Member

    Terri, I agree wholeheartedly. I already love the people on this site and they are becoming friends. I no longer feel so alone and isolated.
     
    Terri Lea likes this.
  16. Terri Lea

    Terri Lea Member

    Then, it is accomplishing what it was meant to do.

    Anytime I feel isolated, I come to the site and there is always an alert for me. There doesn't have to be anything profound in it. Just an acknowledgement that I am not alone in this sad season that I am in. Just knowing that others get me. It helps.

    Thanks for responding. Have a blessed day.
     
  17. PRB1967

    PRB1967 Member

    Sorry to hear of all the losts we are going through, some are raw and that a hard place to be right now, im close to 6 months, i still cry multiple times a day think of my husband all the time. but i don't feel as spaced out, . my heads on straight, my family who are my rock. they get me going.
     
    Terri Lea likes this.
  18. PRB1967

    PRB1967 Member

    Sorry to hear difficult news just release you hurt... been through that myself in july 21 18 early in the am my husband unexpectly died.
     
  19. HisMrs

    HisMrs New Member

    I lost my husband of 22 years in a tragic car accident 11/3/2018. 4 cars, a horse, 2 fatalities. I was with him that night until 40 minutes before he died. I was tired and told him to get his own fucking ride home. The what ifs are killing me.
     
  20. DDHunter

    DDHunter Member

    His Mrs, do NOT play the "what if" game. It serves no purpose. Focus instead on moving forward. The past is history and you can not alter it. I know it is easier said than done but try to focus on all the positive times of your marriage. Whether you stayed with him or not that night would have not changed the outcome. Don't punish yourself. The "what ifs" do not exist. Be kind to yourself.