Loss of husband

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Stephenie turner, Jul 10, 2019.

  1. Stephenie turner

    Stephenie turner New Member

    My husband overdosed on meth on November 19th 2017 and died.we were not together at the time because i left him cause he refused help.we were together for 23 yrs.i am with somebody else and was with him at the time.He has been very supportive.i just cant get past his death.i have alot of guilt.and i do miss him.i dont know what to do..
     
  2. Noelle day

    Noelle day New Member

    I can’t say I have advice but I can hope telling you I don’t know what to do after losing my bf. I’m 27 . We weren’t married yet , his name was Brandon . He crashed his bike January 6th this year . Pronounced dead January 7th . He texted me at 3:04 pm and the crash was called in at 4:05 . Wasn’t anything crazy he put a new back tire on and didn’t let it warm up enough , he pulled out of his friends driveway , because he had to cross the yellow line to get to the proper side of the road his tire slid on the line and grabbed asphalt . Wasn’t wearing a helmet and you know the rest . Brandon and I were together for a little over 3 years . The last 2 years were a secret because no one wanted us together . He was the only person I talked to since September 2018. I had been homeless since April I went through a lot of pretty terrible things . Lost my apartment because of people that weren’t my friends at all . My 5 year old son had to live with his dad who was a heroin addict . I was homeless working to support 4 adults who couldn’t let me stay with them and my son . They used my son as a tool to do so . Brandon was the only person who had my back and tried to help . We were close to having a place together and planning to have our own kid . Life doesn’t stop because you’re goinf through things which is the worst part . It’s not a friend or family member it’s different . The person I thought I’d go to sleep next to , wake up to , my rock that kept me sane & okay . It’s like going through physical therapy for life . I am beyond lost and my heart & soul are broken in places I didn’t know existed . I’m sorry you’re going through it . Nothing anyone can say can take it away or make you feel better but you’re not alone . I think that’s what I struggle with the most . No one can understand unless they go through it and I have no one in my life who has . That is Brandon and I . I miss his smile and voice most . Why life takes someone like that I’ll never understand . Some days are kind of alright others feel harder than I started . I hope sharing with you some of my story helps . You can always talk to me if you need to .
     

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  3. Stephenie turner

    Stephenie turner New Member

    Thank u for the support.Sorry for your loss as well.I have alot of guilt cause i didnt get him help and that i didnt do more.But while he was using i was at home by myself laying in the bed crying and depressed.One day i was so depressed i tried to take my own life by swollowing over 100 klonopin and sleeping pills.By the grace of god he got home in time to find me and call 911.i was in icu for 9 days. That wasnt the last time i tried.There was 3 times more and everytime he was there to save me.I think i carry the guilt of not being able to save him when he saved me 4 times.