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loss of grandmother

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by melmur, Mar 2, 2020.

  1. melmur

    melmur Member

    It's coming up on two years since I've lost my grandma. I'm still struggling to accept it and find happiness. My grandma lived a long, full life almost making it to her 95th birthday. I am extremely thankful I had her for so long but she was my best friend. I feel such a void. I miss her calls of support and love. It's hard to talk to others about it because they assume I'm over it and I should be fine by now. I'm very grateful I was with her until the end but I also saw the worst. I was mad at my brother for not visiting her when she was really going downhill but at the same time, I'm a bit jealous that he didn't have to see her like that. The visuals of seeing her go so down-hill mentally and physically haunts me. I try to remember the good times but I spiral into my own panicked heartbreaking thoughts of just seeing her in pain and her being unable to move or talk and just not looking like herself.

    I have saved voicemails from her that I just haven't had the courage to listen to or delete but I desperately miss her voice. Not sure when the right time is or if I even should listen to them.

    I just feel alone in all of this.
  2. Bogman

    Bogman Well-Known Member

    I would try and listen to the voicemails, you'l cry and it will hurt but I think you might feel warmth after doing so. I was scared to listen to a you tube video that has my wife in it but it brought comfort hearing her voice. Dan