i guess my situation is unique because I can’t find a soul with the search terms. August 11 marks one year since his death. I left November of 2017, the divorce was final April 2018, and I got a call May 2018 that he had gone to the ER for pain from a recent fall and they found cancer throughout his entire body. 12 lb tumor in his abdomen, tumor wrapped in the veins leading to the heart, an entire kidney was invaded as well as most of his liver, and lungs. I put all animosity aside and was with him as his sole support until I sent him to supposedly convalesce with his mother a couple states away. They operated on him. T-boned him to remove the baby sized cancer. WHY?? Why the hell would they put him through that?? He couldn’t possibly recover. He and the doctor led me to believe that he would recover and beat it. My ex told me about plans for his job. We talked daily. He got to where he wasn’t making any sense because of his meds. A call was dropped suddenly on a Thursday. Saturday I got a call from his mother that he was in the hospital, he was unresponsive, he wasn’t going to come out or even last the weekend, and written all over his records was that it was terminal and had been the whole time so they would only make him comfortable until he passed. It was August 11 2018. So he lied the whole time. He was starving himself at his mom’s house. She found unopened Ensure under the bed. He was 6’4 and went down to 120 lbs. I knew he was sick when we were married; I had friends and family members tell me and I confronted him many times about it but he refused to get help, refused to go to the doctor. His mother still thinks I should’ve dragged him there. So I am angry as hell and have done absolutely nothing to deal with my grief. Now I am losing it after being laid off in February and unable to find work to pay the bills and raising my two teenagers (not his - he was my second husband). I cry driving down the road and if I’m not crying I’m intolerant of all people and emotionally unavailable for my children. I don’t have the means for counseling and am at a loss. At this point I feel like an empty shell walking around. Daily functioning is hard. I hope there is someone here who can relate.
Jeannie I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no words to help but I'm just someone who read your story and feels so bad for you. I hope and pray things get better for you very soon. Financially I'm sure you knew to apply for your husbands Social Security . I think even as a divorced widow you might be entitle to a portion of his cant hurt to check if you haven't already. Also the welfare system is suppose to help people who find themselves in your position, lost your spouse and lost your job. Maybe someone can help you look into that as well. Im sorry if I made this sound so simple I'm sure it's not. Best of luck . Wayne . Lost my wife to Brain cancer November 2018
