Loss of a Grandfather

My grandfather passed away March 4, 2019. I was very close to him (he was like a second father) and I am really struggling with this loss. He was 92 and had a rough last 6 months. After suffering two strokes he was making progress towards regaining his strength and abilities, however, the then fell and severely broke his hip and everything went down hill from there. I know that I am not properly dealing with the grief, I'm just pushing on and am feeling the physical symptoms of it (I am tired all the time, I can't sleep, my body aches, my blood pressure is high). I feel as though I am not supposed to or allowed to feel extended grief because he was 92 and I had so many years with him, and of course it was to be expected that he would pass due to his age. My family is very supportive, but I feel as though I have to keep it together for my mom who is an only child and now lost her last remaining parent and was his caregiver, and that I can't just give in as I have my own family that needs to be cared for. I just don't know what to do at this point, I am tired but have to keep going. Anyone else feel like you can't go on like you are, but you have to?

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

Age of person does not matter. We still feel their loss no matter what age they were.
My Mom passed away when she was 95.


I still grieved her passing the same.


Your physical symptoms all seem to be part of grieving. Give you self permission to feel the pain you are going through. He sounds like he was a great man.


Please come here to vent or anything you feel you need at the time. We are all in this together.

 

Hi LindaH,
Thank you so much for the kind words. While I have experienced, unfortunately, many other deaths in my life, including other grandparents, this one is just hitting me much harder than any other. Like you said he was a great man! He was there for so many major moments in my life (chicken pox, teaching me to drive, vacations, graduations, my wedding, and the birth of my children), and so many small moments (just checking in to see how I was doing, simple lunches together, offering advice). Even though his health had been declining and my life was unfortunately getting busier with children, etc. I knew he was always there and I am just so lost now without him.

I guess I just don't know how to properly (if there even is such a thing) grieve. I have to go to work and be productive, but have zero motivation. At home I have to keep things running (cook dinner, take the kids to dance, school functions, etc.) my husband typically is a big help around the house with laundry and dishes, stuff like that, but currently him and both kids are sick so more of the daily stuff is falling to me, so it is hard to find the time to even grieve. My husband tells me that I need to and I know I do, but how? I am hoping that being part of this group will help because like you said, we are all in this together. Thank you again!