I lost my mother in May I can’t sleep and no one around seems to know how to comfort me. I’m in therapy but still I don’t feel better. My mother was my best friend and I’m struggling.
I’m sorry for your loss. I won’t pretend I know how you feel because everyone’s grief is different. My mother died in July and she was my best friend. Something that comforted me was reading books about grief. I think I read 4 books on it. They helped me see why most people suck at grief support even though their intentions are good. The books helped me understand what to expect from my grief process and how to be kinder to myself at a time where just eating, drinking and sleeping regularly seem impossible. I like reading and research so books to understand grief comforted me but that might not be the case for everyone.
I’m so sorry for your lost unfortunately I know exactly what you’re going through. If you don’t mind can you share some of the books you found helped you? I bought a few books and one I felt really resonated was what we lose by Zinzi Clemmons and also I really found healing after the loss of your mother by Elaine Mallon helpful in terms of how to talk to my friends and my partner about how I’m feeling. I hope you look into these books and they help you
Hey, I read that one too! "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother" was a pretty good one and because I did lose my mother I found it comforting. I think my favorite that I read was "Bearing the Unbearable" by Joanne Cacciatore, it really spoke to me and had nice short sections that I could handle even in early grief. I also read "It's OK that you're NOT OK" by Megan Devine, which seemed to be using a lot of words when a few would do, but the essential messages were still good. That one had the best information on why other people are so terrible at comforting the grieving. I think the one I have the most mixed feelings about is, "How to go on Living when Someone you Love Dies" by Therese Rando. Some parts of that book are good but others seem outdated and insensitive to me. I'll look into "what we lose" I am honestly still struggling so I might get another book on it. Thank you for the suggestion.
