I should have done something more, I should have called him that day...the what ifs are going through my mind over and over. My heart hurts. I cry every day. I can not sleep, barely eat. Why didn't I call him more? (I talked to him a few days before he passed). My Dad was only 71 and he coukd have lived longer. But he was an alcoholic and had health problems as a result of his drinking. He developed diabetes from alcohol ism the past few years. He stopped taking care if himself and taking his insulin injections as he no longer wanted to live. There is more...but I am here reaching out...I am grieving, angry, sad, guilty, hurt, devastated, and lost. It feels like a bad dream, it must not be real. And there us this thought...I can't explain it...but I thought I'd always see him again and I never got to say good-bye. I don't ever want him to fade from the here and now, the living. I want to turn back time, but I can not. I want to stop time so the distance of him living to the future stops...if that makes sense.
I’m sorry for your loss. All your feelings and emotions are valid. My father passed June 18, 2019 and I miss him so much. We were extremely close and I had spoken to him a few days prior. Though his health was declining, I did not expect the phone call I received at 5:30am that Tuesday morning. I too wish I could turn back time. I didn’t get to say goodbye either. However, I lost my best friend 6 years ago and I did get to say goodbye and it doesn’t feel any less heartbreaking. The void and absence is still there. Try not to think of what you could have done different and just try and think of all the wonderful moments and memories you all shared. He would not want to see you sad or hurting right now. Naturally, it will take time to get through this. I hope you feel better soon.
I lost my dad June 22 2019 I feel the exact same way you’re feeling i found my dad sitting on the coach and my house I thought he was sleeping tell my boyfriend told me to call 911. He died from a overdose I feel like there’s something I could of done to stop it but I keep telling my self he would not want me to feel any guilt and I will see him someday it helps sometimes I don’t no I’m still learning how to deal with it. I just want you to know your not alone on how your feeling.
So sorry for your loss. It isn’t easy at all and it leaves such a big hole in our hearts. Try to think of all the great memories. As much as we want to think of all the things we could have done differently... it’s not going to change things. Move forward with beautiful and positive thoughts. Let yourself grieve and cry as well. It’s all part of the process. Reach out if you need to talk.
