Lose of daughter ,42 years old to cancer.

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by Cryingmom, Jul 16, 2019.

  1. Cryingmom

    Cryingmom New Member

    My daughter died June 5 of this year . It's been about 6 weeks and I can't seem to stop crying. She was diagnosed with cancer the end of Dec. last year ,so she lived about 6 months. She was married with 3 grown kids and 3 grands ,4 year old twin girls and an 8 year old grandson. The kids loved her so much and she was with them just about every day until 4 days before she died in hospice at the hospital. I live in TX. and she lived in Ohio. I went and stayed 6 weeks with her . I am so glad I did. We didn't always have the best relationship but that time was a healing loving time. I just can't seem to get passed crying. One min. I'm fine, next tears are flowing. I want to call her on the phone and hear her voice. I would give just about anything for her to be with her family and me be gone. I'm getting old. She had so much life she wanted to live. She wanted to watch her grands grow up. My heart is broken and I dont know if I will ever be ok.
     
  2. Robin Francis

    Robin Francis New Member

    Wow I feel your pain. I lost my daughter, she was 36 years old. She passed on June 18 at hospice with my son and I in the room. I haven’t cried yet and wonder what is wrong with me. She had brain cancer and she was so smart. It was so hard watching her deteriorate. At the end she was just staring off into space and sleeping. She was vomiting and aspirated into her lungs. It was so hard listening to her breath. It was like she was struggling. We had an up and down relationship also and I am so glad I had a lot of time with her so we reconnected with love
     
  3. More Grace

    More Grace New Member

    Crying mom. Me too! I'm sitting in garage looking out thinking of my son 48 who is being shipped back home from Texas M D Anderson. Went there in May for consult and he never came out. He got really sick from multiple myeloma. After chemo he got some relief but it came back with a vengeance. I thought sure God was going to heal him on this side of heaven. I'm so lost. I'm wanting to see his only child 2 year old but I know I'm going to start crying again. Looking at her is seeing him. God we need more GRACE!
     
  4. Belmit26

    Belmit26 Guest

    My beautiful smart and only daughter, my best friend, the person who did understand me most, died from Neuroendocrine cancer this April 28. She lived not full year after being diagnosed.
    We came to the US together 30+ years ago, 2 girls. And made it. Hard work, education and lots of optimism despite all hurtles on the way. She was 45, 2 great kids, loving husband and limitless happy life.
    My life, no matter what I did, and I worked hard and with own successes, was dedicated to her, then kids. Then... what now. I am broken soul. Too old to start something from the beginning and too painful to continue with the one life I have already. I lost a true soulmate and my child. And probably closeness with grandchildren even though I practically co-parented for 12 years with their parents.
    I guess I am looking for a word of wisdom: how to stop the pain, how to find new meaning when most of life is passed.
     
  5. JulesAZ

    JulesAZ New Member

    I just found this site and happy to be here. I know that being in bereavement groups is the best thing one can do for themselves. I lost my only child, 42 yrs old. It has only been three weeks and I have came up for a little air these past 3 days. It's been the hardest thing I have been through, I will never get to hold him with my eyes again. He died a sudden painless death but he didn't want to die. I know this gut feeling will never go away. Reaching out for any one who wants to share.
    They say, think of the good times and that will get you through it. There are all kinds of saying and another one is don't push yourself.
    I am going to start a grieving support group through hospice that starts in 2 weeks. There is a big hole in my chest that aches for him. He had a hard life with severe manic depressive illness so I think he is now at peace. Hope this helps.