Life stopped in a second

Discussion in 'Loss from Substance Abuse' started by Angel932, May 29, 2020.

  1. Angel932

    Angel932 New Member

    My husband was clean for 2 years prior to his death so it became such a shock that he choose to use heroin and in that one decision ended his life. I have thought about it over and over but still couldnt see any signs that i missed, his appetite was normal he worked all day everyday and at that time i took him and picked him up bc his truck wasnt working, he was happy and smiling as we just found out 3 days prior that we were expecting what became our second daughter. I have never had a problem with drugs and cant help but think that i shouldve seen something off or understood what he was going through done something. He worked the majority of the time and made all the money. He was our rock and its been a struggle in many ways since he died in august. Having his daughter in the middle of quarantine was the most emotional experience ever and still hurts everyday as she looks just like him but will never see him only in photos. The birth certificate doesnt even name him as i have to file a petition to admend it. I want to move on and find some peace but i cant especially when i relive some memories as the year goes on without him. I used to think I could still feel him at times but i havent been able to for awhile.
     
  2. kimbro96

    kimbro96 New Member

    Hi Angel,
    It is difficult for me to go on without my husband, too, and the pandemic really accelerates the problem. I wish we
    didn't have this combination!
    Kind regards,
    Pam
     
  3. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss. It has to be difficult with a new born. I lost my fiancee recently and we have two small kids. It's been rough without him as we were the only ones that did for our kids. I miss him everyday. I pray things get easier for you.
     
  4. Emily19

    Emily19 New Member

    This hurts to read, and I understand some of your pain. I lost my brother to an OD right before Christmas. He suffered from addiction but to my knowledge had been clean for many years. I feel foolish for not seeing it was going on. Sending positive vibes to you and your family.
     
  5. Diane Thea

    Diane Thea Member

    Oh Girl, I so feel your pain..My son died from an fentanyl overdose. He wasn't an addict but he made a bad choice. That is what your husband did. That is what depression does. I don't think if it was the addiction that killed your husband. It was probably a combination of depression and anxiety. That probably led to him deciding to just do that one hit. That's just my theory. I have my daughter, 17, so I push on. That is what we do. You are incredibly brave and strong. Thank you for sharing your story.
     
  6. Mariami687

    Mariami687 New Member

    QUOTE="Angel932, post: 12026, member: 16027"]My husband was clean for 2 years prior to his death so it became such a shock that he choose to use heroin and in that one decision ended his life. I have thought about it over and over but still couldnt see any signs that i missed, his appetite was normal he worked all day everyday and at that time i took him and picked him up bc his truck wasnt working, he was happy and smiling as we just found out 3 days prior that we were expecting what became our second daughter. I have never had a problem with drugs and cant help but think that i shouldve seen something off or understood what he was going through done something. He worked the majority of the time and made all the money. He was our rock and its been a struggle in many ways since he died in august. Having his daughter in the middle of quarantine was the most emotional experience ever and still hurts everyday as she looks just like him but will never see him only in photos. The birth certificate doesnt even name him as i have to file a petition to admend it. I want to move on and find some peace but i cant especially when i relive some memories as the year goes on without him. I used to think I could still feel him at times but i havent been able to for awhile.[/QUOTE]
     
  7. Mariami687

    Mariami687 New Member

    [/QUOTE]
    I am so sorry for your loss, I was seven months pregnant and lost my fiancé two months ago I also replay stuff over and over again he was clean for almost 4 years it was like a one time bad decision and it cost him his life I’m having a rough time
    Just like you are if you want to talk let me know
     
  8. Diane Thea

    Diane Thea Member

    Life does stop in a second. All of the sudden we are not the same and we never will be. Who are we now? Where do we fit in? There are no answers. There is no closure. There are tears. There is pain. What do we do now? We just go on. Why? Because it's all there is. We live.