Hi, I just found this group so this is my first post. My sister passed 5 years ago in a tragic car accident. I learned of her accident/death on Facebook which was devastating. How can my brother just write a facebook post and not call.? I grieved for a long time and it wasn't until the last year that I felt like I was healing, at least until October. I got a phone call that my nephew, her oldest son, was in ICU for drug overdose. I drove overnight to get to him but didn't make it in time. I was just 2 hours away when he passed. After the initial shock, I have felt extreme guilt for letting my sister down. I should have called him more, I should have known he was struggling, I should have been there! I was back home only 3 days before we got the call that mother-in-law was deteriorating fast and we lost her the following day. Suddenly, the loss of my mother-in-law, loss of my sister, the loss of her son, and the guilt I felt for letting my sister down was more than I could bare. So, here I am. Just trying to process so I can begin to heal.
I am so sorry for your loss, and the difficult and complex grief you are experiencing. I can identify with your struggles, feeling responsible and guilty for letting your sister down, and thinking you should have done more. If you are anything like me, you know logically it was outside your control, but still feel otherwise and feel destroyed by that weight. I lost my Sister Sarah 4 years ago. Following her death, my relationship with all Family and Friends (including her Children which I swore to look after if ever that day came) have exited my life. The vow of myself and few others to seek Justice for her Homicide, has divided our once strong family bonds. Lots of guilt, tons of loss, and still no closure or conviction for her death. I feel lower and more lost than ever before. My heart goes out to you, it is too much to bear❤️ I am here if you need to talk. Caitlin
