Lacking motivation...

I'm functioning in slow motion. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. Usually I look forward to my morning walk, but today it just seems like a chore. The weather matches my mood, no sun, just way too many clouds. I need this walk for my emotional and physical well-being. I'm going to put on my sneakers and stop procrastinating. If necessary, I have the rest of the day to host a self pity party for one.

Thanks for "listening." Wishing everyone peace..

 

Dont think of it as a pity party..youre healing. Sometimes a day in bed{ like me today} is what you need. im proud of you for going on that walk tho..showing up is the hardest part. im trying to gear myself up for a short yoga practice to counter all the sleeping i seem to need today. the abrupt changes in weather are also a real factor..i think youre doing a wonderful job..please dont be so hard on yourself....

 

Susan, thank you so much for your kind words. I know you're right. I am very hard on myself. I think part of the reason is that I feel guilty that I'm still here, and miserable, when my husband would have done anything to still be here. He found something good in each and every day no matter how much pain he was in. I know he wouldn't want me to be this miserable. I want him to be proud of me. Backing up just a bit, I have to remember that I'm healing, that healing is both a physically and mentally exhausting process. I'm just so used to being my husband's caregiver 24/7, that this is the first time in years that I'm able to focus on my own needs. I hope this makes sense. I feel like I'm rambling. Thanks again. You've made me think about things in a slightly different way.

Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace...

 

OM gosh, I feel everything you are going thou, My Jack, passed on the 4th of Nov and now it's the 4 of July. None of the family are doing anything for the 4th. It's okay with me, but so sad. They are sad too.

I find what helps me to get out of the horrible grief is to sleep. When the grief hits me big time I go to my couch and try to relax, sleep or just be.

I still see his images in the house and on our deck when we were together during our happy hour times.

For some reason neighbors, friends, family are so supportive looking after me. I'm in my 70's and wish I had a job to take me away from all this only for a day, but I'm here with memories, body aches and pain and just wanted to be with him. Sorry, but this what it is for me after 8 months. I'm done with it all and wish all the grief would move on, but it has it's own time schedule. My neighbor, Jack's good friend, told me. "Karen experience life as much as you can". Not knowing how to do that I will keep it in mind for someday it may happen. I'm sorry. Take care as we all must. K