My husband and soulmate committed suicide by hanging. I found him in the garage. I had to cut him down, call 911 and try CPR but I knew it was too late. Didn't see it coming at all. We had a great relationship. Met on Tinder of all places and it was an immediate connection. We married 11-4-2016. I was 19 1.2 years older but anyone who knew us knew we were perfect for each other. I am devastated. I've been back to work 3 weeks and I am tired pf appearing strong. I cry when I wake up, cry at lunch, cry at night. I miss him so much. We had so many adventures and just a really great life. I am going through counseling, under dr's care but I am struggling. I want to feel his arms around me again. Smell him. Rub his bald head. I miss him beyond words. I'm just tired of faking it. I wake up and first thing I say is this really didn't happen. But then I see his box of ashes and know its true. I just want him back home with me.