It's night again.... nothing but stretches of loneliness

Feeling lost. Lonely. Dead from inside. Anybody out there ?????

 

@APPY,

I know nights are the worst after the loss. The empty sounds in a house. Talking and no answer-back. But you are no longer alone in your grief.

You just need to reach out to others, like us and we shall respond as soon as we can.

I remember the lonely nights after the loss of my wife. I needed to talk. I looked for places to do that and it was hard at first to locate others who would listen to me.

I don't have all the answers but I am here to listen if you would like to talk right here so others can see. Let me post this so you can see.

-david

 

@APPY,

I know you are struggling with the loss of your father. I know it is so hard to deal with the hollowness and loss of the one who helped raise you in life.

Why not take something your father gave you and hold it close to your heart. Then think of him, and how you looked to him in life for so many answers and hope he will answer you somehow.

You don't have to believe me, but when I was at the lowest point in my life after the loss of my wife, I went to bed like any other night, with dread on the mind with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes. That next morning when I awoke, for the first time in many years I remembered a dream of my that night. A spirit all in white had laid on my chest and for some reason I felt comforted by that thought. I believe it was my late wife reaching out to me in my greatest time of need. After that revelation I felt I could finally face the loss of Nadine and start the true process of healing my heart, mind, and soul virtually.

So I can't promise the same will happen for you, but I am one with strong faith as a Roman Catholic. I believe, that is all I needed.

So just know, any loss is so hard to face, let alone be able to gather the strength to help yourself come to terms with it. Just know, all you need is faith in yourself.

-david

 

Dear David can't thank you enough. Now is 12:50 am and I am wide awake. I hv dreamt of dad few times but it is not enough for me . I am craving to hear dad's voice. Do share a pictr of beautiful Nadine.

 

@APPY,

This is a video of her and her family, and it also has our wedding photos.

Please press the button under my wife's picture titled Play Tribute Movie
https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/auburn-me/nadine-hughes-6409908

The one photo with them altogether, her parents and all her siblings, and their niece Lisa. Nadine's face is just cut off a bit on the front right. Their mother had just received her degree for teaching. Linda the one of the front left is the only remaining one still living. She is responsible for the above video.

 

Hi @APPY,

I’m here, I’ve been away for a couple days for the most part. I read David’s reply and he is such a kind person and one heck of a writer. I wanted to chime in on dreaming and sensing. I’ve always heard that if you see a cardinal it signifies your loved one is near. I promise you I’ve seen more Cardinals since my daddy passed than I ever saw before. Perhaps it is that or maybe it is the fact that I’m searching daily for that bird. Either way, it’s okay with me. Ever since my daddy passed I’ve prayed every night and every night I’ve asked for the same thing ... to please dream of my daddy if it was the perfect will of God. Everyday I woke with that unfulfilled request but every night I’d ask again - if it was God’s perfect will, not mine. I finally dreamed of him last night. It was dim and brief but it was what I asked for.

I understand your pain, I lost my daddy March 17 and I am a huge “daddy’s girl.” He doted on me from the moment I was born. He named me. He was my first love, first hero and first to be there for me when I needed someone. I truly know your pain.

You have to dig deep down and know your dad would not want you to be sad. He would not want you upset and hurting. He would want you to live life. I’m not in anyway saying not to grieve because that is what will help you through. I was horrible when my daddy passed...some weeks I went to the cemetery two or three times a week.

I was a blubbering mess yesterday missing him and I finally told my husband I have to get out of the house and away from everything. So, we hooked to the bass boat and we spent all day on the lake. Sunshine, water and fishing - it did me so much good. Guess what? I still saw a Cardinal and I was an hour and a half from home.

Please hang in there and reach out anytime you need.

TJ

 

Hi @Appy,

This grieve is hard. Insomnia is a TYPICAL SYSTEM. I don't why it is so painful. Just is. Or how long or what makes things better. I have tried a number of things. Being like Tj says is good. Being with a supportive person is good. That can just mean people who uplift in some way.

Do interact here if you feel like it. We are all doing this. Some perhaps further into it.

Paul M.

 

T

Thank you Paul M. Sometimes I feel I am going crazy . Trying sooooo many thibgs together to come to terms with my loss.

 

@APPY,

I would use the word most of the time, crazy. There was a grief book, It's OK to be not OK. I couldn't finish it. Some good points. Mainly here was a therapist undergoing a loss and so ill-informed from her training as to how to deal with it. Some key points were the loneliness and frustration of not being heard. Many friends or family will struggle to try to be helpful. Hence good to be here.

So how does a day go for you?