It seems impossible to live

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by @APPY, May 16, 2020.

  1. @APPY

    @APPY Active Member

    I am finding it so very difficult to stay alive. Nothing is able to console me. A constant pain in the heart . I am missing my dad so very much . I have no clue how to continue.
    Appy.
     
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  2. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    @APPY,

    Please never give up on yourself. Your loss is still very recent and of course you are extremely troubled by it. Just keep talking and reaching out to family and friends and with us complete strangers.

    Just take each day slowly. Take small steps forward and do little things, like reading, listening to music, small chores to keep your mind occupied. It is never easy after loss, and there is no perfect answer to give you other than reaching out with our words and talking with you.

    Make no promises. Tell us a story about your father and what you loved about him. Just opening up helps a lot.

    -david

    A song for you

     
    TJones likes this.
  3. paul tinker

    paul tinker Well-Known Member

    @APPY

    These days are difficult. Hard to imagine they can ever end. They do!!! One white knuckle day it was just hunger that broke the dispair. Somewhere this painful timeline will be a moment hardly noticeable but a litter better. Make a note of that moment. That is hope that this will get better just not soon enough.

    As David said things he uses. Hot shower, Cold shower, walks in new places, nature, yelling as loud as you can. A kind conversation or any conversation.

    We have all walked this. Our hearts are open to you.

    Paul M.
     
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  4. @APPY

    @APPY Active Member

    Talking does help. But sometimes talking to family and bringing up the old memories and crying doesn't hold meaning . Being here in this group and going through the stories of loss and grief is helping me to think that I am not alone. Languages may be different but feelings are same. Do keep in touch.
    Regards
    Appy
     
  5. @APPY

    @APPY Active Member

    Thank you so much Paul M. I am trying . Trying hard indeed . There are so many mixed emotions .
     
  6. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I no everyday is a challenge but please hold on to the memories of your dad and let him live through you. Find something that you like to do and do it when you are thinking of him the most. Use it as your outlet. I've found that writing helps me. Whatever I'm thinking I just write it down or type it in a text to myself. Look into some counseling too. They can give you more suggestions on what to do to help you heal. Reach out if you ever need to talk. Praying for you!
     
  7. Liley773

    Liley773 Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling the same as you Appy. It's been 2 1/2 mos for me, but I sit here doing nothing and can't imagine living the rest of however long I have like this. True I will have to go back to work Friday, but...... I never did well on my own. Only lived by myself for a short time once.....
     
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  8. @APPY

    @APPY Active Member

    Thank you David. I am trying hard to cope. Planning to resume work from tuesday. Watching a lot of movies . Still a constant pain. Do you think things will get better with time?
    Regards
    Appy.
     
  9. @APPY

    @APPY Active Member

    How r u sweet cole ?Online counsellors r nt that good. I am also planng to resume work from tuesday. Nothing can beat this excruciating pain of missing my dad. Infact I feel jealous abt people who hv both of their parents alive with them. I know this is mean . But being brutally honest here.
    Regards
    Appy
     
  10. @APPY

    @APPY Active Member

    Right Liley .. I think the festive days and holidays are the toughest. I am planng to resume work from tuesday but am really scared. I reach offc at 10 a.m and sharp at 10:15 a.m i used to get a call frm my dad askng whether I hv reachd safely or not. This tuesday I will reach offc at 10 but my phone will not ring at 10:15. This thought is hurting me like 1000 knives stabbing me at once. Hope u r also trying to hang in like me.
    Regards
    Appy
     
  11. I also lost my dad a more than three months ago. My dad used to call me all kind of hours, sometimes when I was teaching high school kids. I allways answered him, no matter the circumstances. Now it is of course awfully quiet.
     
  12. Liley773

    Liley773 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for you too. Yes, it's this silence. Even tho I still have 4 dogs.....very very silent. They are also depressed. You can tell in their little faces. We're in Tx so it's hot to even play outside. Rocky, Maggie's son turned 7 yo today....Murphy's 7 yo and Daisey's 11 in July, Cooper turned 2 yo last Tues......He still likes to play but I'm not up to alot of it....He understands.....But I like you, kept the texting to my husband and phone calls up during the day. In the last days, he might call me asking what was going on, or he'd call me at 2 am asking if I was coming to see him right then...thinking it was after work....He was very sharp minded.....when his ammonia levels went up because of the liver tumor, you would have thought he had dementia......so sad for him to lose that especially.....ugh.....night time is near... I hate it. I've done nothing all day.....
     
  13. Liley773

    Liley773 Well-Known Member

    I'm trying if I could just get the shaking to stop and the nerves in my stomach.....:(
     
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  14. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Hey hru? I'm ok. Good luck with going back to work. I went for a couple days a week ago and I got emotional getting dressed cause it was the first time going since everything happened. I kept having an urge to call or text my fiancee. He normally calls to see if I'd gotten to work or jus check on me a couple times a day. I no it's gone b rough when I actually go back. It's gone take time but the pain will get easier for us to deal with. I often feel have some type feeling too when I see people with their parents knowing both of mines is gone. The feeling will get better to deal with. I'm praying 4 u. Reach out anytime I'm here
     
  15. Liley773

    Liley773 Well-Known Member

    I feel jealous w/people that have their husbands with them. I guess it goes w/the territory.....in that respect I guess we are all normal.....
     
  16. Mothernature

    Mothernature Member

    I also feel very jealous of people who still have their husband. There was such a comfort in being 1 part of 2. Lived like this for almost 29 years. Learning how to be just me.
     
  17. Mothernature

    Mothernature Member

     
  18. PiedadKaye

    PiedadKaye New Member

    Hello, I was seeking a place where I could meet others going through the sadness of losing a spouse. I lost my dear husband 2 months ago and feel as if I'm stuck in quicksand. I know what you mean about being jealous of other who still have their husband. I adored my husband and we had a wonderful life together. Why was he ripped out of my life? How come couples who hate each other or complain about each other get to keep their spouses? Is there fairness in any of this?
     
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  19. PiedadKaye

    PiedadKaye New Member

    I know what you mean!
     
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  20. Liley773

    Liley773 Well-Known Member

    Sure doesn't seem fair does it?