I'm tired of missing her

Discussion in 'Suicide Loss' started by Emily Angeloff, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. Emily Angeloff

    Emily Angeloff New Member

    Hi - I'm a newbie here, and I'm glad I joined, hopeful that it'll help. I lost my BFF to suicide in 2008 and even though we're in 2016 now, I tend to bottle all intense negative emotion, and just recently discovered that I still have some leftover guilt/pain I need to get relief from. I've been in therapy before, but first wanna see if this'll help before going back. Any ways on how to open up and let go would be greatly appreciated!!!!
     
  2. KatiesSister

    KatiesSister New Member

    I don't have any answers. I'm going through this too. Hugs!
     
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  3. Emily Angeloff

    Emily Angeloff New Member

    @KatiesSister, it's hard...all we ever want is for the person to come back..... I don't know what's been happening with me lately though. I WAS doing well for about a year!! Thanks for replying. You can inbox me anytime.
     
  4. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Emily, thanks for joining our site and for sharing your story. It's so hard to say what will work for you as this process is as unique as each person going through it. From experience I can tell you that it's certainly not unusual for a person to feel like they're doing fine and then have some of the emotions resurface. In those low moments it may be hard to see how far you've come, but most often I think people in the later days have made more progress than they realize. In asking about how to "open up and let go"...I think a lot of that depends on how "open" you were before your loss. Also, are you trying to open up to those closest to you, or open yourself up to new people and ideas? Depending on what you need right now, the course may be a little different. Letting go can be equally challenging, but I know for most it seems to happen when they recognize that letting go is their only option if they want to move forward. We have no choice, no say, and no control over our losses or what's happened. But as we process our grief, we can begin to look at what we want for the next part of our life and what we need to do to get there. In many ways getting ourselves to a better place and doing the work to get there can be one of the healthiest ways to honor the loved ones we've lost.
     
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  5. Emily Angeloff

    Emily Angeloff New Member

    @griefic, it's obvious that you really thought out this message you sent me - thank you so much for that. Therapy will help immensely, which I have decided to go back to. Since Sandi's suicide, I've truly isolated myself emotionally, and I just can't cope with the pain anymore - gotta let go of it once and for all. Again, hanks so much for your reply, wow, I really appreciate it.
     
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  6. Mohock

    Mohock New Member

    Hi Emily. My name is Morgan and I recently lost one of my best friends to suicide in July. I tried to help him through a really hard time but it eventually started taking its toll on my own health. His tombstone finally arrived last week and it hurt more than the day he passed. Counseling has helped me and some days are good but other days I feel like I'm going crazy with the rollocoaster of emotions from this experience. my husband was also friends with him too but I'm taking it harder, we were closer. It's only been four months but I already feel like everyone is tired of hearing it, or that I don't have a right to grieve so hard because it's only a friend and not spouse/family/etc.
     
  7. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Morgan, thank you for joining, and especially for sharing your story.
    You are right that 4 months is truly no time at all and yet the people I speak to who have had a loss say time and time again that everyone around them expects them to be moving on more quickly then they feel ready. There is a blog on our site about "Disenfranchised Grief" and how the proximity of a loved one in our life plays a very important part in how we grieve their passing. Please take a look as I believe it will be a help to you.
    In the meanwhile, reaching out and finding support is the best thing you can do, and I'm glad you have found our site. If there's anything you need please let us know, and more than anything please take care...