Hello, everyone. I've been stuck in grief for years...and years...and more recently I finally gathered up the courage to join a support group. Though I must say...after the first session I felt like it wasn't helpful nor was it something I was expecting (what was I expecting?!) at all. Immediately after the meet I looked for another group...is that normal? Also at 1:10 A.M., I Google searched and found this site. Though I don't know what I was looking for. For answers? For connections with others who may feel what I'm feeling? I don't know. Not I'm not even sure why I'm writing all this. Maybe grief is taking me on some kind of auto-pilot, I don't know. I'll say "I don't know" a lot...I'm not sure if anyone else does that. Grief just make my mind blank, just..."I don't know." I lost so many people close and dear to me I'm just...numb. And this many years later, it still hurts and it's still numb and I still cry ugly tears. I still ask why. I still get angry. It just still fucking hurts... It still fucking hurts. Grief is like an elephant, it never forgets. It will trample everything in its path, too. It still hurts. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.