I'm not sure if I belong on the Loss of a Parent list or Loss from an Overdose list. I'm both. My mother was a narcotics addict for the vast majority of my life. You know "Mother's Little Helper" turned into 240 Tylenol 4 a month and a Fentanyl patch every three days. Almost exactly a year ago, she finally overdosed to the point she almost died. She did fry her brain, and was basically put in a nursing home until she died, which she did on August 21, 2019. I loved my mother, but she besides her drug abuse, she had Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, and paranoid Anxiety. These made her an extremely unpredictable, volatile, and abusive person. She would have times of being the best mom in the world, then would suddenly change and start throwing things at you while calling you every name in the book. I never knew which one I was going to get. Now that she is gone, I'm not sure how I feel. I feel a loss of the "good mom" but relief that the abuse has come to an end. I loved her and hated her. Any advise?
