I'm new here...lost my mom a month ago today.

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by ellenld12, May 23, 2020.

  1. ellenld12

    ellenld12 New Member

    Hi everyone. I'm new here, and I'm trying to figure out the best way to use this website. My mom passed away on April 23rd this year. I'm really struggling. I miss her so much. Today my dad moved back into the house where I grew up after not being there for a year. It was hard. I was going through my mom's clothes, and deciding what I should donate, keep, throw away, etc. I was just trying to get through it today, but I have to go do more tomorrow. I'm just crying so much and am so emotionally drained. I'm struggling with finding people who get it...it seems like no one knows what to say. Anyway...I'm just looking for support. Thanks, everyone. <3
    JesFiveHealth likes this.
  2. asmith3313

    asmith3313 New Member

    Hi, I am new to the site as well. I lost my mom 2 months ago. I wanted to respond because I relate so much to your post. I haven't gone through my mom's stuff yet, but I have two young boys and can't seem to get rid of clothes and toys they've outgrown if my mom was the one that bought it for them (and she spoiled them so there's a lot). I'm so sorry for what you're going though.
    TJones likes this.
  3. Chris C

    Chris C Member

    Hi Ellenld12 and asmith3313,

    I lost my dad 25 years ago. He was only 60 and I was so sad and bitter for such a long time. Now I lost my mom a couple of months ago. Somehow I thought it would be easyer because she was older and got a real shot at a full life. I did not have a place like this to reach out to others going through the same pain and emotions. When I read your post I feel your pain at a gut level. I also know the fact you are here like me that while we can't get rid of the pain I don't feel so alone traveling this road. From one stranger to another please know you are not alone and I am pulling for you.
    All my best

    TJones likes this.
  4. TJones

    TJones Active Member

    Hi Ellenld12 and asmith3313:

    My heart goes out to each of you for your loss. My dad passed away March 17, 2020 after a brief illness. At the time, it didn’t seem so brief but now, in essence, it was no time.

    Each of you are dealing with a very painful part of the loss. I know exactly how you feel because I’ve filled those shoes. After dad passed, I was left with the daunting task of clearing him home. My dad and I were extremely close and I always knew it would end up being my responsibility. Much like both of you, I struggled the entire time until the task was done. I cried before I arrived, during the time I was there and on the way home...not sure I ever stopped until I finally slept from exhaustion.

    If you don’t have to, maybe wait a bit. I’m my case that wasn’t an option since dad lived in a rental property.

    There are many good folks here. We are all here because of one common bond, grief. Sometimes it seems as if our loved ones don’t know what to say and to a degree, they don’t. Grief is a process and we all deal with it differently. There are no time limits. Each of us here, at some point, have felt the same emotions, we understand...we get it. Feel free to reach out if you need an ear.

    Looking forward to better days,

  5. JesFiveHealth

    JesFiveHealth Member

    To: Ellenld12 asmith3313

    Hi Ellenld12 and asmith3313
    I lost my father years ago
    I was not prepared
    Talking about his loss was painful and a relief at the same time
    The more I write about the loss the less tears an emotions eventually more positive memories an the ability to think begins to form. You are very strong to have shared your feelings
    We Support You
    We Care For You
    We Respect You
    We Love You
    I Love You
    Jesse Huntet
    TJones likes this.
  6. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Active Member

  7. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Active Member

    Hi. I'm new to this site also. I lost my mom 2 1/2 weeks ago and I get it. It seems as though part of me went with her. There is a dull ache I have at times. I think of her every day and relive the day she passed away. I don't like the word "died" so I use passed away. Sorry for your liss
  8. TJones

    TJones Active Member

    Hello HankersKing6:

    Welcome to GIC. On the day your mom passed a part of you did go as well. I think you will learn that, here, we all have a sense of that missing part. My dad passed March 17, 2020, and for a time I relived the day he passed and the sequence of events. It's now been a little over three months and I still think of him everyday but now the day he passed has eased up a bit. I know I did everything I could have possibly done for him; and I am sure you did as well.

    I'm in-and-out of here but if you need or want to chat, just let me know.

    Peace and comfort.

  9. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Active Member

  10. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Active Member

    Wow. Thank you!
    TJones likes this.
  11. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Active Member

    Well today marks one month since mom's passing. It seems like two years or more. How I long to have one more hug. I miss her dearly. I am still reliving the day she died. However mom was in a lot of pain and I asked God to take her and give her peace. Oh I was scared to pray that prayer because it just seemed wrong. I think of her everyday and am still crying at times. Lord have mercy!
  12. HankersKing6

    HankersKing6 Active Member

    I am not feeling well. I've been having stomach pains which I know are unrelated to mom's illness but it brought back memories so clear of her. She had stomach cancer and only lasted seven months after diagnosis. I'm wondering will I have that. I'm 67 and have medical challenges myself. My sadness and loneliness for her overtakes my thoughts sometimes. I have to learn to control that. She passed away May 29. 2020. Seems like three years rather than three months.