My husband & I were together 22 years & he was such a strong, hard working man. Ran his own business. On 10/15/19 we found out he had cancer after they removed his left adrenal gland & tumor & then after being home for 2 days he fell & hit his head & I brought him to the ER where they put 13 staples & 11 stitches in his head & then decided to do a CT scan & after an hour, came back & told us they found 3 tumors in his brain! He was back in the hospital & had surgery 10/29/19 to remove the largest tumor. He went through 3 weeks of radiation & then started chemo which he was supposed to go once every 3 weeks for 4 weeks to start & after 2 chemo treatments & 3 days before his 3rd treatment, he ended back into the hospital due to his health declining immediately for reasons to this day, Dr's don't know why. He was in the hospital for 3 weeks & the Dr's said they have done everything they could do but it was time to get hospice involved so I decided to bring him home & within 3 days he was gone! I took care of him by myself since Oct & it seemed like he was doing so good, we had hope & then the last 3 weeks, I don't understand what happened.
I'm so sorry to read all that you have been through. I lost my wife of 25 years suddenly of a brain aneurysm on November 2, 2019. Our pain is the same tho. We all seem to suffer the same way. I had no idea how common our grieving is. You're not alone.
Thank U Barry, I'm sorry to hear about your loss of your wife. I'm new to all of this so plz forgive me, I don't know how all this is supposed to work.
No problem. I'm new too. Whenever something is heavy on my mind I just put it out there. Sometimes you get advice. Sometimes it's just nice to talk with someone who understands your grief.
U R so right especially being able to talk to someone going through the same thing but yet different ways sometimes. Thank you Barry. Colette
Hi Colette, very sorry for your loss. Our stories are similar, my wife of 40 years passed in December after being diagnosed last August with cancer, it too was found to have spread to the brain and the tumors in her brain ruptured on the day she was to start radiation treatment killing her. The rollercoaster ride of hope then bad news then hope again was so hard for my family, I can't imagine how hard it was for her !? It must be hard for you not knowing what happened at the end to cause your husbands death, the whole journey is hard !! I hope you find some healing here with people that truly understand a lot of what you're going through, as Barry said we all grieve in similar ways. Dan
Dan, thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I'm so sorry for your loss. Allthough I've only talked to 3 people, & now you, I have taken a lot in & not feeling so alone & in one way that's good I guess but in another, did not want to become part of a group through such sadness & heartbreak. I do connect with you more because of the brain tumors. It's great & amazing how far we've come over the years when it comes to curing cancer but unfortunately we've got a long ways to go. I will keep you in my prayers at night. Colette
I agree this site is not one I wanted to become familiar with either but I'm grateful it here !! Yes mankind has made huge strides in the battle against cancer but so much still to do, unfortunately too late for many. I've signed up along with my son and several friends for a 200km ( 160 mile ) bike ride in June to support a cancer research hospital in Toronto that my wife was treated at, it's helping me to think I'm doing something in her memory. I'm just hoping this old guy doesn't need someone to do a ride for heart and stroke in my memory because of this endeavor !!
OMG don't even joke about that. I know from the things you've said, that U will do just fine. You are very strong & you seem to know your limits so you will do what you CAN do.
Hi everyone. I know this is not the place any of us wish to be, on a site talking about loss. I first started my journey on Facebook.com over 12 years ago or so. Both my wife and I and my family were members and friends were members. When Nadine my wife developed cancer it was subtle at first. It started out as diverticulitis and eventually moved throughout her body. She was on the transplant list 3 different times only to have the cancer return each time and finally remove her for the last time. When she passed, of course it is the most horrid thing a person can endure. I kept my Facebook.com active but closed my wifes. Then one day I was notified my account had tried to have been accessed at a time I wouldn’t and so with great regret I quit Facebook.com After that I tried looking for other sites on the net, and thought I had found one, which did not work out. So I eventually found this site and I have now been here for 6 months or so. When I first arrived I was feeling so broken inside, I had many repressed emotions that I hadn't been able to resolve for more than four years. It wasn’t until I posted here that for the first time in a long-long time I found a way to open up about my wife and how I felt. I read so many stories by others, watched so many videos and even listened to song after song, and even resorted to finally having dreams again about my wife. I come from a family that has the military ingrained in them. My father, my uncles, were ww2 vets. My step brother’s dad died on D-Day invasion. My grandfather was a ww1 vet. So it went on, my brother joined the army, as did I. We are both two tours of duty Vietnam vets. I am a member of one of my former units who has been in touch for years, about family and loss of those who served. When we talk, it is personal and great to keep in touch. I have experienced loss from many aspects of my life, from a child on. But the one thing I want to stress, it wasn’t easy getting past some losses. Until I came here and met others, complete strangers, I was finally able to open up and resolve my inner turmoil I had been having. One day, after many tears, and heartfelt talks it was as if a cloud had been lifted from me. I could focus once again, and not be so broken inside. I will say, keeping that hurt to ourselves helps nothing. The more we open up. The more we talk the better we begin to feel inside. I hope each of you, with your enormous losses will allow others to hear of how you feel, and then perhaps with time you too will also start to feel better inside. Peace be with each of you. Just keep moving forward in life, and never stop remembering, you will eventually feel better for it. -david
David Hughes I look forward to reading all of your posts, you bring things into perspective for me and I'm sure others as well. You also give me much hope that this terrible chapter of our lives can be followed by better times. Thank you !! Dan
Thank to you as well. It is so nice to talk with others around the world. In face I remember playing chess by mail with a teacher when I was overseas. I never beat him, but it was fun keeping in touch.
