I lost my Mom. My whole world is gone.

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by KittyB, Mar 21, 2020.

  1. KittyB

    KittyB New Member

    It's been a month now since my mom passed. She was my best friend. The only person in this whole world who actually cared about me. She got sick with the flu middle of January was hospitalized for 3 weeks with pneumonia and blood clots,home for only 2 where I was taking care of her. She was on oxygen, we had visiting nurses and a physical therapist coming to our home. But she ended up back in the hospital and died just 2 days later and I don't know how to cope. She took care of me and I took care of her. I miss her more and more everyday. This wasn't supposed to happen she was supposed to get better. Now I have no one. I am alone. My sister isn't really any help the day after my mother passed she screamed at me for stealing my family's grief, and I was on my own and I had to figure it all out now that mom wasn't there. Our relationship has improved somewhat since then but... My mom was all I had. It was just me and her. We did everything together. I have mental health issues, panic disorder and she was through it all with me. I don't know how to go on without her. Knowing she is not here anymore, that I can never talk to her again, that the house is so quiet without her. My sister says I need to get a life but I had a life. It was mine life with mom and I was happy and content and that is all that matters. I cry multiple times a day and some days I don't even see the point of moving forward. The rest of my family has it seems but my pain is too deep. I miss her too much. All I want is for her to be here.
     
  2. segasan

    segasan Member

    Please cherish your sister. I have no siblings, no significant other, no progeny. I feel your pain and loss.
    I too lost my Mom in January and had the same kind of relationship with her as you describe.
    She was my friend, protector, confidant, provider, teacher and so much more. Be well. God bless us all.
     
  3. lolosundevil

    lolosundevil Member

    Thank you for posting. I, too, lost my mom 3 months ago. It was unexpected and we were so close, she was my best friend. I find that it feels like there is no comfort some days, some minutes. I really relate to your statement about all you want is for her to be here. That is all I want too. I talk to her picture, even though I am not religious and this helps some. I need to still have some connection to her otherwise I will not be able to continue on. What would your mom want for you? I hope uyo can find a little bit of self compassion during this time of tremendous tragedy. I hope you find some support here.
     
  4. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    KittyB,

    Losing your mom who you shared a unique relationship with has to be awful. I imagine your sister is also grieving as much as you. During stressful times like these it is normal to lose our patience, get angry, not care about anything else and even try to hide the pain away.

    Lolosundevil,

    If only we could wipe away the tragedy of time, and wash away the sorrow that comes to us all when we lose the one we loved so much in life. I know all of us who have lost their mom, as have I wish we could bring her back.

    KittyB & Lolosundevil,

    I am sorry for the loss you both have experienced. There is nothing worse than losing someone we have shared so much with in life.

    When those lonely days are upon you try to think back to all the wonderful talks you had together. All the things you did together, all the pictures you have for memories.

    I can remember all the stories my mom would share with me, of when she was young. She would tell me of her life, most great and of course some bad, she lost her first husband in WW2. But even with her grief, she collected herself, she righted her life and remarried my father also during WW2, two years later.

    She would tell me of all her hopes and fears, not just for her, but for her first son, my step brother. So many people during that war lived in fear, such as so many are right now during this covid-19 scare.

    She survived it, and said she had so many memories, some sad, but so many happy. The day they ended the war was the happiest day of her life. Beyond, looking back at pictures, so many parents suffered losses and eventually got beyond the fear and the grief.

    Today, this grief and sorrow you both have will be hard to overcome. It won’t be easy, but if you take it slowly and try to face your sorrow as you are able, the pain inside your heart, that fogs your mind will lesson slowly over time. You just have to believe and have faith in yourself.

    I hope you both will continue to post, no matter how you feel. Take the time to also take care of yourself. Please don’t ever give into despair. For now, get rest as you need it, and try to find something to do to help you cope. Peace be with both of you.

    -david


    This is a poem of hope for our current isolation, very uplifting





    This is a violin cover for you both